Mansfield’s Book Of Manly Men (book review)

January 9, 2014 — Craig T. Owens

Mansfield's Book Of Manly MenIn my experience, men today aren’t allowed to be true men, manly men. I’m sure there are a lot of reasons why (but that’s another subject for another time), but for those men who are yearning to be the manly men that God has created them to be, Mansfield’s Book Of Manly Men by Stephen Mansfield will make you jump up and growl!

Men are wired by God in a unique way that makes them, well, men. When men embrace their God-implanted uniqueness they become manly men (which is another way of saying God-honoring men) who are better husbands, fathers, friends, and citizens. Stephen Mansfield quickly outlines his four maxims for manly men, and then shares a list of manly qualities to which all manly men should strive.

Each of these manly qualities are introduced by the life story of a manly man from history’s pages. Mansfield presents these men in all their manliness, including both their strengths and weaknesses; there are no perfect men, but there are many real men from which Mansfield allows us to learn. These manly qualities also come with some real in-your-face challenges of how to assess the growth of that quality in a man’s life.

In the foreword, written by retired Lt. General William G. Boykin (himself a true manly man), is this challenge: “This book is a must read for every American male. We must restore the understanding of what it means to be a manly man. The nation’s future depends on getting back to the fundamentals of being men of courage and values.” I couldn’t have said it any better!

I am a Thomas Nelson book reviewer.

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6 Quotes On Marriage & Family From “The Book Of Man”

July 22, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

I really enjoyed reading The Book Of Man by William J. Bennett (you can read my book review here). The topics were very broad, so I’ll be sharing some of my favorite quotes on the different sections in this book over the next few days.

Here are six quotes about marriage and family…

“The family is the association established by nature for the supply of men’s every day wants.” —Aristotle 

“All great change starts at the dinner table.” —Ronald Reagan

General Robert E. Lee was on his way to Richmond, and was seated in the extreme end of a railroad car, every seat of which was occupied. At one of the stations, an aged woman of humble appearance entered the car, carrying a large basket. She walked the length of the aisle and not a man offered her a seat. When she was opposite General Lee’s seat, he arose promptly and said, “Madam, take this seat.” Instantly a score of men were on their feet, and a chorus of voices said, “General, have my seat.” “No, gentlemen,” he replied, “if there was no seat for this old lady, there is no seat for me.” 

“You must not encourage, but rather give yourself to what is kind and pure, chaste, true, loving, elevating, ennobling, and by all means learn to distinguish between love and lust. This is the switch at which so many are side-tracked to ruin. …Lust will degrade you; love will elevate you. Lust will make you vile, selfish, sordid, low; love will make you pure, chaste; lovable, manly. Lust will make you earthly, sensual, devilish; love will make you godlike, continent, noble.” —Rev. Lewis Johnson

“Fatherhood can sometimes be walking the floor at midnight with a baby that can’t sleep. More likely, fatherhood is repairing a bicycle wheel for the umpteenth time, knowing that it won’t last the afternoon. Fatherhood is guiding a youth through the wilderness of adolescence toward adulthood. Fatherhood is holding tight when all seems to be falling apart; and it’s letting go when it is time to part. Fatherhood is long hours at the blast furnace or in the fields, behind the wheel or in front of a computer screen, working a 12-hour shift or doing a 6-month tour of duty. It’s giving one’s all, from the break of day to its end, on the job, in the house, but most of all in the heart.” —Ronald Reagan

“And yet there is no relation on this side of the grave, more sacred, more dignified, or more elevated, than that of husband and wife. The parties might be, and should be, to each other, perpetual sources of consolation and pleasure. There should be no distrust, no suspicion, no equivocation between beings so circumstanced. They should live as much as possible as if animated by one soul and aiming at one destiny. Neither should look for perfection in the other, and yet each should endeavor to excel the other in generous efforts of gentleness, kindness, and affection.” —Robert Morris

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Integrity At Home

August 30, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

I read this verse the other day in my devotions, and it’s really been doing a number on my heart.

…I will lead a life of integrity in my own home. (Psalm 101:2 NLT)

I would hate it if I was considered a hero at work, but considered a zero in my own home.

Here’s what I’m processing:

  • Do I earn the same level of respect at home as I do at the office?
  • Do I put in the same diligence into growing my home life as I do growing my career?
  • Am I as forgiving with my family as with friends and coworkers?
  • Do I have the same level of preparation at home as I do at work?
  • Am I learning the craft of being a husband and father like I’m learning the craft of being a pastor?
  • Do I honor my commitments at home like I do with others?

I don’t want to live as John Bunyan described Talkative in Pilgrim’s Progress: “He was a saint abroad and a devil at home.”

Instead one of my life verses is this: I have no greater joy than knowing my children all walk in the truth (3 John 4).

The only way this will be possible is if I led a life of integrity in my own home.

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Marriage Math

July 25, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or Audible.

Martin Luther said:

“There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.”

Unfortunately our culture has watered-down and diminished the value of marriage. Far too often marriage is seen as something which diminishes life, instead of enhancing it.

Perhaps this is because we have been viewing marriage with the wrong math.

Marriage is NOT ½ + ½ = 1

That makes sense mathematically, but it’s inaccurate. God didn’t create us a half-people. God created us whole and complete. So our spouse is not our better half, he/she is our better whole.

Marriage is NOT 1 + 1 = 2

Again, this makes sense mathematically, but it is not biblical. Why? Because 2 is divisible, and the Bible makes it clear that a man and woman who are married are one flesh.

Marriage IS 1 X 1 = 1

Not only does this work mathematically, but biblically too. God sees marriage as one whole man and one whole woman coming together to make one whole marriage.

Not coincidentally, X (chi) is the first Greek letter of the name Christ. When Christ is at the center of a marriage, and when the husband and wife are more in love with Him than they are with their spouse, then a wholeness exists in the marriage.

1 X 1 = 1 is the type of marriage that glorifies God.

1 X 1 =1 is the type of marriage that is so lovely, friendly, and charming.

If you are single, keep yourself pure so you can bring your “oneness” as a gift to your future spouse. If you are married, keep the X—Jesus Christ—at the center of your marriage.

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Your Most Important Ministry

October 12, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

These thoughts are especially targeted at pastors. If you are a pastor, tighten your chinstrap because this may hit you a little hard. If you aren’t a pastor, perhaps you could help your pastor in this vital ministry.

Pastor, what is your most important ministry?

Think about it. Get it clear in your mind: what is the most vital ministry you have every week?

Let me give you a little hint: if your “most important” ministry has anything to do with your church, you chose poorly. Your most important ministry is at your home with your family.

I hate to burst your bubble, but someone else can pastor your church. As much as you might think, “These ministries won’t get done if I don’t do them,” trust me, they will get done with or without you.

But, my dear friend, you are the only one who can be your mate’s spouse, you are the only one who can be your kids’ Dad or Mom.

I love studying the life of David. There is so much to learn from him: his passion for God, his military strategies, his prayer life, and other important things pertaining to leadership. But we need to also learn from David’s failures. For all of David’s success as a king, he was an abysmal failure as a husband and father. He spent so much time “at the office” that he neglected his family.

I don’t mean to condemn anyone, but I know that when things are right at home, things will go well at church. Too many people in our churches are getting short-changed because their pastor works so hard on ministering to them and doesn’t work hard enough on ministering to his family. Just like with David, this will come back to bite you. So here are the tough questions:

  • Do you spend more time thinking about how to grow your church than you do thinking about how to grow your marriage?
  • Do you read more books about church growth than you do about marital communication?
  • Do you put more effort into discipling new believers than you do discipling your kids?
  • Are you more attentive in keeping appointments with church members than you are in keeping family time protected?
  • Do you know more about the struggles of the people in your church than you do about the struggles your spouse and kids are facing?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, it’s time to refocus. EFFECTIVE MINISTRY BEGINS AT HOME WITH YOUR FAMILY!!! Do you want to grow your church? Start at home. Do you want to be a more effective pastor? Be a more effective spouse and parent.

Did I step on anyone’s toes? Good, ‘cause I just stepped on my own too. Now, let’s get to work on our most vital ministry.

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God’s Math

May 21, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

I’m preparing for a wedding this weekend, and I love God’s math that shows up in the marriage relationship. Very simply it looks like this:

1 + 1 = 1

One man + One woman = One marriage.

God said, “Let the husband and wife be joined together. And the two will become one flesh.”

A husband can have his oneness—his uniqueness—enhanced by his wife. So too can a wife have her oneness—her uniqueness—beautified by her husband.

This is why God is for healthy marriages: It gives us a better picture of the oneness that we can have with Jesus Christ. He brings out the oneness—the uniqueness—in all of His followers.

I love it!

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The Importance Of Purity

December 4, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Yesterday I read the Family Resource Council’s report about the devastating effects of pornography. Some highlights (or should I say “lowlights”?):

  • Married men who are involved in pornography feel less satisfied with their conjugal relations and less emotionally attached to their wives.
  • Pornography use is a pathway to infidelity and divorce and is frequently a major factor in these family disasters.
  • Pornography viewing leads to a loss of interest in good family relations.
  • Pornography is addictive.
  • Men who view pornography regularly have a higher tolerance for abnormal sexuality, including rape, sexual aggression, and sexual promiscuity.
  • Prolonged consumption of pornography by men produces stronger notions of women as commodities or as “sex objects.”
  • Child-sex offenders are more likely to view pornography regularly or to be involved in its distribution.

This is the reason my wife and I stress purity so highly with our children. Betsy is going through Every Young Woman’s Battle with our daughter, and I’m using Every Young Man’s Battle with our sons.

There are only two battles that Scripture consistently warns us to flee from: idolatry and sexual promiscuity. We cannot stress purity enough, and it’s never too early (or too late) to talk to your kids about this.

Hey, parents, don’t let their peers have the loudest voice in your kids’ ears about sexual standards. You help them set godly standards. And do it now.

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Love & Respect (book review)

October 29, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Love & Respect

My Grandma used to say this poem, “Good, better, best, never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best.” I thought of this again while reading Emerson Eggerichs’ book Love & Respect. If your marriage is bad, this book can help it get good; if your marriage is already good, this book can help it getter even better; if your marriage is already better, you can use this book to “best it.”

Many of the principles in this book generated an initial push-back from me. I found myself thinking, “I’m not so sure that would work.” But as I read on, I found almost all of those initial hesitancies dissolving.

The book is divided into three overarching sections that cover the three cycles in which your marriage could be: the Crazy Cycle (a bad marriage), the Energizing Cycle (a good marriage), and the Rewarded Cycle (the best marriage). Throughout all of the sections, there is sound, biblically-based counsel for husbands and wives. The title of the book—and most of the underlying principles—come from Ephesians 5:33 where the Apostle Paul tells women to respect their husbands, while husbands are to love their wives.

Be forewarned: the first part of this book felt a little like a commercial for Dr. Eggerichs’ Love & Respect seminar. And oftentimes I felt he was “plugging” his seminar throughout the book. But if you don’t mind the occasional sales-pitch feel, you will uncover some great truths to help your marriage go from bad to better to best.

I am a book review blogger for Thomas Nelson Publishers.

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