The Wounded Healer (book review)

Wounded Healer, The

“For the minister is called to recognize the sufferings of his time in his own heart and make that recognition the starting point of his service. Whether he tries to enter into a dislocated world, relate to a convulsive generation, or speak to a dying man, his service will not be perceived as authentic unless it comes from a heart wounded by the suffering about which he speaks” (from the introduction).

Henri Nouwen was a man ahead of his time. Although this book was written in the early 1970s, it sounds so applicable for today. The Wounded Healer challenged me as a Christian leader to step into the pain-filled lives as others in a more authentic way. Nouwen argues that healers must first be personally acquainted with the same type of pain that other wounded people are experiencing.

Isaiah 53 says that Christ “was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole.” Because Jesus was wounded in the same way we are wounded, He knows how to help (see Hebrews 2:18).

One closing quote from Nouwen: “If there is any posture that disturbs a suffering man or woman, it is aloofness. … No one can help anyone without becoming involved, without entering with his whole person into the painful situations, without taking the risk of become hurt, wounded or even destroyed in the process. The beginning and the end of Christian leadership is to give your life for others.”

This book reconfirmed my desire to—like Jesus—be a wounded healer for others.

Find Your Strongest Life (book review)

 

You might be thinking, “Why is he reviewing this book?” After all, the subtitle of Marcus Buckingham’s latest book is “What the happiest and most successful women do differently.” Well, guess what? I absolutely loved this book! I’m excited for my wife to be able to read Find Your Strongest Life, but in the meantime, I got so much out of it.

One of the things I love about Marcus Buckingham’s books is that they read just like he sounds: a silky smooth British accent. But it’s not just about style; his books have plenty of substance too. I especially love Marcus’ focus on building on strengths, as opposed to trying to fix weaknesses.

The other thing I appreciate is how affirming Marcus is. His comfortable style feels highly personalized—sort of like he’s sitting on the other side of the coffee table from me.

Find Your Strongest Life opens with some background information on the important timing for this book. Then after taking a simple online assessment to learn your leading and supporting Life Roles, you’ll learn more about how to capture and cradle your strongest moments. Then you’ll learn how to use these strong moments to purposely imbalance your life in favor of those strong moments.

So many of Marcus’ ideas sound counter-intuitive, and yet they ring so true at the same time. From my personal experience from reading and applying the principles in his other books, I can attest that this man knows what he’s talking about. I know I found several takeaways from this book, and I’m especially excited to see how my wife and the other key women in my life are going to be able to use this book to make a stronger life for themselves.

An excellent read for anyone.

Fearless (book review)

Max Lucado has always had a unique way of turning a phrase, of capturing a moment in Scripture that makes biblical truths pop off the page. I’ve always appreciated the way he can bring first-century truths into twenty-first-century applications. Fearless is no exception to this.

Fearless is also exceptionally well-timed in its release. Lucado quotes Frank Furedi’s findings that the appearance of the term “at risk” was printed in US newspapers more than 18,000 times in the year 2000. A ninefold increase over the previous six years. A ninefold increase! We are a fear dominated society:

“Fear loves a good stampede. Fear’s payday is blind panic, unfounded disquiet, and sleepless nights. Fear’s been making a good living lately.” —Max Lucado

In his unique style, Lucado unmasks thirteen fears that have been “making a good living.” He unmasks these fears by countering each of them with Christ’s admonishment to us to “Fear not!” This is not a fear-denying book, nor is it a run-for-the-hills-because-the-sky-is-falling book.

Lucado presents a straightforward look into our most besetting fears and shows the fears for what they really are: monsters in the dark. And once these “monsters” are exposed to the light of Jesus Christ, they become toothless, harmless shadows.

A great read for anyone! I also loved the discussion questions at the back of the book. These helped me confront some fears head-on. They would also be an excellent springboard for a Bible study group.

I’m giving this book five unreserved stars! Imagine your life without fear— you can do it—this book will help.

Put Your Dream To The Test (book review)

Dream Test I’m a HUGE John Maxwell fan. He has been a mentor-from-afar for me for a number of years. So I know whenever I pick up a Maxwell book I’m going to be challenged and stretched in my thinking. Put Your Dream To The Test lived up to my expectations.

What’s your dream? Everyone has a dream, so what’s yours? I have always loved this quote from T.E. Lawrence:

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.”

If you are a “dreamer of the day” you will find great value in reading this. In this book, Dr. Maxwell guides you through ten questions to help you refine the pursuit of your dream—

  • Is my dream really my dream?
  • Do I clearly see my dream?
  • Am I depending on factors within my control to achieve my dream?
  • Does my dream compel me to follow it?
  • Do I have a strategy to reach my dream?
  • Have I included the people I need to realize my dream?
  • Am I willing to pay the price for my dream?
  • Am I moving closer to my dream?
  • Does working toward my dream bring satisfaction?
  • Does my dream benefit others?

In typical Maxwell fashion, I was challenged to think differently, I was encouraged to renew what I have already learned, and I realized some things I needed to give up. One of the aspects of Maxwell’s books that I especially appreciate is how energized I feel after reading them. I feel like the counsel he gives me has prepared me to live my life more fully.

If you have a dream that is bigger than you, good! If you have a dream that size, I would strongly recommend that you read this excellent book to help you see your dream and seize your dream.

Everyday Greatness (book review)

Everyday Greatness

I have read almost everything that Stephen Covey has written, so when I saw this newest title—Everyday Greatness—with his name on it, I was really looking forward to it. I know the classic rule is “Never judge a book by its cover,” but I admit I broke this rule!

When I saw “Stephen Covey” on the cover I was prepared for his typical thought-provoking insights. Instead what I got in Everyday Greatness was anecdotal support of Covey’s profound teachings from other authors. I was actually pleasantly surprised by this.

The premise of this book is similar to Covey’s other books; namely, you have the power to make the choices that will make your life more effective, more fulfilling, and more beneficial to those around you. Everyday Greatness reinforces this message by letting you hear Covey’s thoughts through the stories of “everyday people.”

The book is divided up into seven categories that everyday people live each day—

  • Searching for meaning
  • Taking charge
  • Starting within
  • Creating the dream
  • Teaming with others
  • Overcoming adversity
  • Blending the pieces

Each of these seven categories is supported by three principles, and each of these principles are illustrated by three short stories and a few pages of noteworthy quotes. So in essence Everyday Greatness presents Covey’s thoughts in 63 short stories and several pages memorable quotes.

Stories are so much more effective at driving a point home than is a lecture, and these stories are the perfect length for anyone. This is a book I’ll keep handy on my shelf so I can return to these stories time and time again. An excellent read!

Full Tank

The other day a friend of mine wrote on Facebook that he was shopping with his daughter. He half-jokingly added, “I think that is her love language!” I say half-jokingly because I think the time with Daddy was speaking volumes to his daughter.

Spending time shopping with Dad was filling her love tank!

Have you ever felt like one of your relationships was in a rut? Or maybe even in a rut with ends in it (also known as a grave!)? Do you ever feel like the other person just doesn’t get you? Have you ever been frustrated that the other person doesn’t understand all that you are doing for him/her?

My guess is that you are speaking different love languages.

Dr. Gary Chapman wrote an amazing book called The Five Love Languages. In his book, he lays out five “languages” that we use to communicate our love to one another:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

When you and I communicate, we naturally communicate in a way that is most comfortable to us. We communicate in our primary love language. But if the other person in the relationship has a different love language, no matter how much you love them, you are simply not getting through effectively. You are leaving the other person with a near-empty love tank.

I would suggest you start by taking a brief love language assessment (download the free PDF here → 5 Love Languages assessment) to determine YOUR OWN love language first. This is the language you will feel most comfortable using. Second, you need to learn the love languages of OTHERS CLOSE TO YOU so you can change your love dialect.

In the great love chapter in the Bible, the apostle Paul says this, “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things” (v. 11, New Living Translation). Our love—and the way we express it to others—should always be growing up. If you are trying to communicate your love to someone special in the same ways (the same “languages”) you’ve always used, there’s a good chance your love is being viewed as childish.

As you mature in your expressions of love — as you speak the other person’s love language — you will begin to fill their love tank. Guess what happens next? Out of a full love tank, the other person is motivated to begin to speak your love language, to fill your tank. It can become so much fun to love with a full tank! Because when the other person’s love tank is full, almost any love language will work for them—wow, what a blast!

For married couples, YouVersion has an excellent reading plan that teaches specifically how the love languages operate in the context of your marriage.

UPDATE… my friend Greg Heeres and I host a leadership podcast on YouTube. Recently, we discussed the value of leaders learning and speaking the love languages of their teammates.

The Hole In Our Gospel (book review)

Hole In Our Gospel, The coverWhen I first heard the title of Richard Stearns’ book—The Hole In Our Gospel—a thought crept into my mind. When I read on the back cover the phrase “to walk with the poorest of the poor in our world,” I was convinced: I just knew this book was going to be a guilt trip.

I couldn’t have been more wrong!

“The idea behind The Hole In Our Gospel is quite simple. It’s basically the belief that being a Christian, or follower of Jesus Christ, requires much more than just having a personal and transforming relationship with God. It also entails a public and transforming relationship with the world,” writes Stearns as he introduces his book.

Using his life as a personal example, and presenting a stark but realistic picture of the suffering humanity in the world today, Stearns challenged me to look outside my own paradigm. I’ve seen the infomercials about sponsoring a child, and I keep abreast of the latest calamities in the world, but Stearns presents these sobering facts in a way that made me want to do something. Stearns quoted his friend Gary Gulbranson, “It’s not what you believe that counts; it’s what you believe enough to do.”

The other thing I wrongly assumed from the cover of this book was that the problems facing us were so huge, that even if I got involved little would change. Instead, Stearns showed me practical ways to help.

Far from being a “downer” or a guilt-trip, I found this book to paint an exciting picture of what was possible if I would just get involved. I could begin to imagine a world in which humanity was better off because I was in it.

Don’t shy away from this book just because it’s written by the president of World Vision: you will not read a single “commercial” or appeal to donate to World Vision or sponsor a child. But you will be changed. You will be challenged. On the closing page, Stearns asks a poignant question: “And when you close this book, what will you do now?”

I’m going to get involved.

I’ll Make You An Offer You Can’t Refuse (Book Review)

I'll Make You An Offer You Can't RefuseOkay, I’ll be honest with you, the title of Michael Franzese’s latest book sounds like a cliché—I’ll Make You An Offer You Can’t Refuse. Sounds like a line right out of “The Godfather” or “Goodfellas,” right? But if you’re involved in the world of business, Mr. Franzese’s book is exactly that: an offer (book) you can’t refuse. From how to craft a business plan, to picking the right people, to learning how to negotiate the best deals, Mr. Franzese uses his years of wiseguy street-smarts to give you an advantage.

From the very first page, this book engaged me because I felt like I was having a conversation with the author. His style is very relaxed, and his stories about his business successes and failures are compelling. It’s not often that a business book reads like a novel, but I’ll Make You An Offer does just that.

Throughout all of his lessons, Mr. Franzese makes the contrast between the principles spelled out in the mobster’s bible (The Prince by Machiavelli) and principles articulated in the Holy Bible (specifically the writings of Solomon). Although he learned his strategies from his years in La Cosa Nostra (“this thing of ours” or the mob life), he makes a strong case his strategies will work in the legit life. The difference is the motivation that drives the strategies: Machiavellian or biblical.

“A dictionary definition of success says it’s ‘the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.’ … But dictionary definitions are like sausage casings. It all depends on what you stuff inside” (quote from page 144).

Whether you are just getting started in a new business venture, or whether you are not satisfied with the results of your current business venture, you will find invaluable strategies here to help you. This former mob boss truly does make you an offer you can’t refuse.