(Re)(Un)Learning

July 27, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Alvin Toffler wrote, “The illiterate of the future are not those who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” For me, the Sabbath Day—a day God institute as a break from our day-in-day-out routine—is the best day to do this (re)(un)learning.

I took an unusual Sabbath break this weekend. Several of my family members are missionaries, and it is rare that they are all in the United States at the same time. This summer happens to be one of those times, so we took full advantage of catching up and relearning one another.

We all met at my grandparents’ old farmhouse in southern Ohio. Grandpa died in 1984, and Grandma died just a few years ago, but their legacies are alive and well. In no particular order, here are a few things I (re)(un)learned this weekend…

  • Nehemiah was an extraordinary leader that I want to emulate.
  • My daughter is a persistent and naturally-talented horse rider.
  • Every time my extended family gets together I learning something new about their past… and my past.
  • I love my family heritage!
  • It was so cool watching all the boys play the same games in the barns that I used to play as a boy!
  • Sleeping in the same room with Betsy but in a separate bed makes for a lousy night of sleep. The closer I am to my best friend, the better I sleep.
  • Eating meals with 15 people around the table forced me to listen more intently to the one who was talking. Why don’t I do this all the time?
  • One should not play American football, rugby, ultimate Frisbee and soccer (world football) on the same day without a good supply of Motrin handy.
  • Bradford, Ohio, is just as I remembered it as a kid. So is my grandparents’ farm.
  • My puppy only had to get shocked once by the electric fence to learn her lesson. Sometimes it takes me more zaps!
  • I missed my new church family this weekend!
  • Fireside chats are one of the best places to really get to know someone better. And a great place to reveal my own heart more intimately.
  • I need to keep my camera close as there is so much that I want to document and preserve for my kids and grandkids.
  • These kinds of weekends should be more regular in my annual calendar.
  • Sitting on the couch snuggling with Betsy is the best wrap-up to any weekend.

Did you (re)(un)learn anything on your Sabbath? Whether or not you did any (re)(un)learning last week, today is the start of a brand new week. Let’s make it a goal to (re)(un)learn something this week, and use our next Sabbath to reflect on it.

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Whirlwind Weekend

July 24, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I’m up early (as usual, since this is the best time of the day!) getting ready for a full weekend. As a general rule I consider Saturday my Sabbath Day. Sundays are usually “work days” for me, although I don’t feel like I’m working when I’m at church… it’s just way too fulfilling. But this weekend is going to be a little different.

Studying my Bible this morning, because it’s the best way to start every day. Looking at the life and leadership of Nehemiah.

Still fasting along with our Impact! youth group until noon today. I’m just so proud of these leaders for setting a great example. Hey, if you’re in the area over the next four Wednesdays at 7:00pm we’re talking about setting an example from the life of Timothy. Join us and you’ll see some real live example-setters!

Sipping some green tea and praying for some very special friends. I love the connection to our Heavenly Father I have in prayer.

Scooting south in a couple of hours for a family reunion with my missionary relatives. These family members are my heroes! They serve in Israel and Sudan, and it’s rare that they’re in the USA at the same time. This summer is one of those times, so we’re going to enjoy catching up.

So missing (already!) not being at our new home on Sunday. I haven’t even spoken on a Sunday as the “official” pastor yet, but it already feels like home. I can’t wait to get back!

Synced my iPod with some great listening for the 8-hour roundtrip this weekend. Going to get some good stuff in me while I have the windshield time.

A busy weekend, but one I know will recharge my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual batteries. What’s on tap for your weekend? I pray it is as fulfilling as I know mine will be.

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Get Ready For Impact!

July 23, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Yesterday on Facebook I jumped into a conversation that a couple of guys from our Impact! youth group were having. I loved it—they were trying to organize a 24-hour gathering to pray and fast.

When spiritually hungry people make this sort of commitment, I just know God is going to show up in a powerful way. King David said, “Blessed are they who keep His statutes and seek Him with all their heart” (Psalm 119:2).

There’s no greater way to seek God with all your heart than to deny yourselves and focus on His provision.

So beginning at noon today, nearly 20 of our Impact! youth group will be camping out on the church property. They’ll be praying, fasting, worshiping, and intently seeking God’s favor for the needs which are confronting us. The fast will continue until noon Friday. If you can, join them on-site. Otherwise, fast with them wherever you are.

You can post a prayer request in the comment section below, and you can also check back here to see prayer requests and thoughts that the group will be sharing during their 24-hour season of prayer. We’ve also setup a Twitter account to follow real-time updates from the group.

I’m so proud of these students for taking the initiative to seek God with all their heart!

UPDATE… pictures are being added here.

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Stocking Your Arsenal

July 23, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

As a general rule, it’s best to have all of your ammunition ready to go before the bullets actually start flying! It’s not really effective to say, “We’re taking fire! Now someone go and get me some ammo!”

Yesterday I wrote about the before-the-battle-starts strategies for your marriage. One of those strategies was arming yourself with some reading materials and strong, healthy friendships prior to the assault. I’d like to share with you some books Betsy and I have enjoyed reading together.

Love Talk by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. We’ve read a few books about the differences in communication styles between men and women, but this was the easiest to put into practice. The Parrotts contend that many of the hindrances to more effective communication stem from the fears we have: like the fear of the loss of connection with someone special or the fear of not being in control of our own lives, just to name two of them. Once I understood what fears I had, I could see why I closed off some areas of my heart and mind to Betsy. And when I knew what fears she had, I could be more sensitive in discussing those areas with her.

In addition to the book, we also purchased the workbooks which are specifically designed “for him” and “for her.” This helped us get some thoughts and goals down in writing. Betsy and I would each read the same chapter, work on the corresponding pages in our workbooks, and then find some couch time after the kids were in bed to talk. The combination of reading material and workbook gave us a great foundation to have some meaningful dialogue.

Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. This is touted as a book for men, so I read it first. But after I read it and begin to talk about the ways this book had so connected with me, Betsy said, “I think I need to read this too.” The subtitle to the book is “Discovering the secret of a man’s soul,” which makes it a valuable read for women as well.

Too many men today feel, well, unmanly. John does an excellent job in identifying the core needs every man has: to fight for a noble cause, to live an adventure, and to rescue his damsel in distress. It’s the stuff of all the epic stories and it burns within the heart of every man, but our society has asked men to become tame. When both Betsy and I read about the longings in a men’s soul, it resonated with us. I instinctively knew this was right, and Betsy had a whole new appreciation of my role as her knight in shining armor!

Intimacy Ignited by Dr. Joseph & Linda Dillow and Dr. Peter & Lorraine Pintus. Sex plays a vital role in marriage, but sex isn’t intimacy. Using the biblical book The Song of Songs as their main text, these authors explore the incredible intimacy that King Solomon had with his wife. They show how the taboos of intimacy within a marriage have been reinforced through the years, and what God really has to say about the white-hot passion that should exist between a husband and wife. A sizzling read!

Those are just a few of the books we have found helpful in strengthening our marriage. If you would care to share in the comments a book or two you have found helpful, we are always looking for more ammunition for our arsenal. Be ready for the assault on your marriage before it comes … fight for your marriage … it’s so worth it!

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We’re Under Attack!

July 22, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

As Betsy and I pray together for our family and friends, we’ve noticed a disturbing trend in our prayer time. Our prayer list is filling up with dear friends whose marriages are under attack…

  • Overwhelming financial pressures
  • Legal concerns
  • Drug problems
  • Questions about the future
  • Feelings of a loss of connection

These problems pile up and cause tremendous strain on marriages. It’s not surprising that marriages are under attack. Since the intimacy between husband and wife is the relationship God repeatedly uses to show the relationship He wants to have with humanity, it’s understandable why the enemy would attack marriages. If marriage is seen as unfulfilling, an intimate relationship with God seems undesirable.

The definition of strategy boils down to the big picture plan that’s put into place before the battle begins. Make no mistake about it, even if your marriage seems carefree now, it will be under attack in the future. Here are a few thoughts on forming a pre-battle strategy.

1.  Spend lots of time together. In the military platoons eat together, hike together, sleep together, practice together. They are getting to know both their craft and their team. Your spouse should be your best friend, not just your roommate. And you get to best-friend status by spending lots of time together.

  • Eat at least one meal together everyday … at the table, without the TV on.
  • Go for a walk … hold hands.
  • If you enjoy exercise, sweat together … then shower together.
  • Plan regular date nights … no kids, just the two of you.
  • Occasionally getaway for a romantic weekend.

2.  Continue to flirt with each other. You did a lot of special things for each other while you dating. So keep on letting your spouse know how special he/she is to you.

  • Send an e-card to his/her work email address.
  • Buy him his favorite candy bar and tape it to a note telling him how sweet he is.
  • Send her a flirty text message while she’s out with friends.
  • Come home with flowers.
  • Whisper sweet-nothings in each other’s ear.

3.  Pray together. There is no more intimate thing you can do than keep God a part of your marriage. After all, He is the One who said, “Let husband and wife be one flesh.” He is for your marriage—He wants it to be successful and fulfilling.

  • Pick a regular time to pray together every day.
  • Pray when you feel pressures beginning to press on you.

4.  Develop a support team. Don’t wait until the assault on your marriage is bearing down on you before you seek help. Put things in place now.

  • Read a book together about healthy marriages. (Tomorrow I will post a list of good marriage-building books.)
  • Hang out with other couples who have healthy marriages.
  • Go to church together.

Next to my relationship with Jesus (and because of my relationship with Jesus), my relationship with Betsy is the most fulfilling relationship I have. She is my best friend. The attacks have come against us too, but having a strategy in place ahead of time has been invaluable.

It’s never too late—or too early—to form a strategy for a successful, fulfilling marriage. When you repel the assault on your marriage, you will find an even greater appreciation for and intimacy with your spouse. A good marriage is so worth the effort!

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Very Punny

July 21, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Laughter is good medicine.

It’s been called “inner jogging.”

It’s been shown to boost your immune system.

It’s an immediate mood lifter.

And we don’t get enough of it.

Studies say that on average, an adult laughs 15 times a day; a child laughs 400 times a day. No wonder kids have a better outlook on life than most adults!

I like humor that makes you think as well as tickles your funny bone. The dictionary defines a pun as “the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words.”

Here are a few puns to make you giggle. I’d love to laugh at some of yours too, so please share them in the comments.

  • A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  • Dijon vu—the same mustard as before.
  • Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • Don’t let worries get the best of you, remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
  • Forbidden fruits create many jams.
  • Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
  • When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
  • A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
  • What’s the definition of a will? (Come on, it’s a dead giveaway!)
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  • Many church members who sing “Standing on the Promises” are really sitting on the premises.
  • You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
  • He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
  • Every calendar’s days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
  • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  • Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
  • When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done.
  • If you want a better life, altar it.

Go ahead, laugh! As the Norwegian Proverb says, “He who laughs—lasts.”

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New Chapter

July 20, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

When I was a kid I used to love to read Hardy Boys books. Sometimes I’d pick one up first thing in the morning, and have it read before I went to sleep that night. Many times I would say to myself, “Okay, I’m only going to read this one more chapter, then I’m taking a break.” But every chapter ended so thrillingly that I just had to continue reading the next chapter.

Life is a lot like that. One chapter finishes, but there is no break—no pause—it’s just right on to the next chapter. When Jesus said that He wanted us to have abundant life, that means that each chapter is better than the last.

Last night Betsy and I turned a new chapter in our lives. I am excited to be the new pastor of Calvary Assembly of God in Cedar Springs, Michigan! This congregation is something special: they are totally in love with Jesus and it’s obvious that they want others to know about this same relationship. I am so thrilled to be able to partner with them in changing the world.

But as with all new chapters, there is something bittersweet about leaving the old chapter. So many friends that we have made on the east side of the state, so many memories, so many testimonies of what God has done. It’s a little sad to leave some of those things behind.

But now, it’s upward and onward. On to the next chapter in which the excitement and passion and adventure will be even greater!

Will you please pray with us. We have some pressing needs to take care of in the next 6-8 weeks, and we would love you to join with us in prayer—

  • We need to sell our house right away so we can move to West Michigan.
  • We want to find a home in Cedar Springs and get our kids registered for school.
  • Betsy is looking for a teaching job near Cedar Springs.

Thanks for your prayers. We sure do need them as we continue this adventure God has for us by turning to the new chapter in our lives.

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My Injured Thumb

July 17, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I sliced my thumb open yesterday. Okay, maybe “sliced” is a little too dramatic. But I did cut my thumb, and it did bleed. True, it didn’t gush blood—more like oozed blood—but blood was escaping my body. It was a small cut; perhaps a ¼-inch long.

I pressed a tissue on it until it stopped bleeding. I washed my thumb thoroughly with antibacterial soap and water. I applied some Neosporin ointment. And I wrapped the injury in a fresh Band-aid.

All of this care and concern for a small cut on my thumb.

Do you realize how much one uses their thumb in the course of a day?

  • Trying to rinse dishes in the sink I couldn’t hold the plate or the dish scrubber without my thumb being involved
  • My thumb was involved when I turned the doorknob of the front door
  • When I was opening a package of fruit snacks for my son, my thumb was needed for either the holding or the ripping
  • Ditto when I attempted to open the lid of the 2-liter bottle

That small cut on the thumb on my non-dominant hand was affecting my entire day. One little cut and my entire body was adversely affected!

A friend called me the other day. His heart was ripped open. Okay, maybe “ripped” is a little too dramatic. But he was emotionally damaged. True, he didn’t need a trip to the emergency room and he probably won’t have to start taking anti-depressants, but emotional “blood” was escaping his heart.

He called me, and I responded. One little wound in my friend’s heart and I was affected! Do you realize how much one’s emotions are involved in the course of a day?

Dr. Paul Brand was a renowned hand surgeon and missionary who worked with leprosy patients in India for years. He learned that leprosy doesn’t mangle a person’s foot or hand, but their lack of ability to feel pain does. They don’t feel the cut on their pinky toe or left thumb, and so they never attend to it. The injury becomes infected, and still no pain registers to tell them to take care of it. Eventually serious, irreversible damage is done.

Listen to what Dr. Brand wrote in his book In His Image—

“A body only possesses unity to the degree that it possess pain…. We must develop a lower threshold of pain by listening, truly listening, to those who suffer. The word compassion itself comes from Latin words cum and pati; together meaning ‘to suffer with.’ … The body protects poorly what it does not feel.”

“Management of pain requires a delicate balance between proper sensitivity, to determine its cause and mobilize a response, and enough inner strength to keep the pain from dominating the whole person. For the Body of Christ, the balance is every bit as delicate and as imperative.”

We must develop a lower threshold of pain by listening, truly listening. … The body protects poorly what it does not feel. Are you listening, truly listening to those who are hurting around you today? You are connected to them. If one person hurts, we all hurt.

Truly listen. If they are hurting, it does affect you … and me. Let’s find them, bandage them, apply ointment to their wounds, and protect them from further injury. Let’s feel their pain so we can protect them from further pain.

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Priceless Freedom

July 16, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Turn it up!

I had a blast last night with a bunch of students at Calvary Assembly of God who are excited about Jesus. They are free, and they are hungry for more of God in their lives. It was awesome!

Jesus said, “My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10 NLT). And He said, “If the Son gives you freedom, you are free!” (John 8:35 CEV).

Last night we looked at Paul’s instruction to Timothy where he reminded Timothy not to let anyone look down on him. If you dig a little deeper into the meaning of these words, it’s clear that you and I teach others how to treat us. In other words, Timothy was already devaluing himself, so others assumed that’s how they should treat him too.

Paul said, “Timothy, you are valuable. So hold your head up high and set an example worth imitating for everyone around you.”

God loves you so much that He created a cosmos to display His majesty, He gave you a conscience to prod you to look for Him, and He sent His one and only Son to earth to pay the price for so you could be in a personal relationship with Him.

You are of immense value to God. God bought you with a high price. And if you accept that incredible gift of Jesus, you are free to live… to REALLY LIVE!

When we closed the service last night, the students began to worship God, and they didn’t want to leave! They lifted their hands in freedom, they sang in freedom, they loved God in total freedom because they recognized their value in Him. And today I believe they are going to be living in that priceless freedom.

What about you? Are you living free today? Accept the gift Jesus already paid for your life and you can live free!

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Full Tank

July 15, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

The other day a friend of mine wrote on Facebook that he was shopping with his daughter. He half-jokingly added, “I think that is her love language!” I say half-jokingly because I think the time with Daddy was speaking volumes to his daughter.

Spending time shopping with Dad was filling her love tank!

Have you ever felt like one of your relationships was in a rut? Or maybe even in a rut with ends in it (also known as a grave!)? Do you ever feel like the other person just doesn’t get you? Have you ever been frustrated that the other person doesn’t understand all that you are doing for him/her?

My guess is that you are speaking different love languages.

Dr. Gary Chapman wrote an amazing book called The Five Love Languages. In his book, he lays out five “languages” that we use to communicate our love to one another:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

When you and I communicate, we naturally communicate in a way that is most comfortable to us. We communicate in our primary love language. But if the other person in the relationship has a different love language, no matter how much you love them, you are simply not getting through effectively. You are leaving the other person with a near-empty love tank.

I would suggest you start by taking a brief love language assessment (download the free PDF here → 5 Love Languages assessment) to determine YOUR OWN love language first. This is the language you will feel most comfortable using. Second, you need to learn the love languages of OTHERS CLOSE TO YOU so you can change your love dialect.

In the great love chapter in the Bible, the apostle Paul says this, “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things” (v. 11, New Living Translation). Our love—and the way we express it to others—should always be growing up. If you are trying to communicate your love to someone special in the same ways (the same “languages”) you’ve always used, there’s a good chance your love is being viewed as childish.

As you mature in your expressions of love — as you speak the other person’s love language — you will begin to fill their love tank. Guess what happens next? Out of a full love tank, the other person is motivated to begin to speak your love language, to fill your tank. It can become so much fun to love with a full tank! Because when the other person’s love tank is full, almost any love language will work for them—wow, what a blast!

For married couples, YouVersion has an excellent reading plan that teaches specifically how the love languages operate in the context of your marriage.

UPDATE… my friend Greg Heeres and I host a leadership podcast on YouTube. Recently, we discussed the value of leaders learning and speaking the love languages of their teammates.

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