Pastor Dad (book review)

I recently read a free ebook from Mark Driscoll called Pastor Dad. You can read it or download it for free by clicking here.

One of the Bible verses that I claim as one of my life verses is this—I have no greater joy than knowing all of my children walk in the truth (3 John 4). I don’t want to be so busy with my church and community work that I miss out on one of the greatest joys: Being my kids’ Dad and leading them in their walk with Jesus!

Pastor Mark’s book is a very helpful reminder and resource for Dads, to make sure we are doing what God has entrusted us to do. It’s not a lengthy nor difficult read, but it is both convicting and challenging.

Dads, I encourage you to check this out.

Courageous Countdown

I cannot wait for Courageous to open… just two weeks from today! I had the opportunity to see an advanced screening of this movie, and it is phenomenal. Please go see it on the opening weekend (September 30), as that is the weekend that Hollywood and the media pay attention to.

And just to get you ready, check out the opening scene from this movie —

Integrity At Home

I read this verse the other day in my devotions, and it’s really been doing a number on my heart.

…I will lead a life of integrity in my own home. (Psalm 101:2 NLT)

I would hate it if I was considered a hero at work, but considered a zero in my own home.

Here’s what I’m processing:

  • Do I earn the same level of respect at home as I do at the office?
  • Do I put in the same diligence into growing my home life as I do growing my career?
  • Am I as forgiving with my family as with friends and coworkers?
  • Do I have the same level of preparation at home as I do at work?
  • Am I learning the craft of being a husband and father like I’m learning the craft of being a pastor?
  • Do I honor my commitments at home like I do with others?

I don’t want to live as John Bunyan described Talkative in Pilgrim’s Progress: “He was a saint abroad and a devil at home.”

Instead one of my life verses is this: I have no greater joy than knowing my children all walk in the truth (3 John 4).

The only way this will be possible is if I led a life of integrity in my own home.

Calling Out Manhood

Last week I shared about the outstanding movie Courageous which opens on September 30. This movie will be enjoyed by everyone in the family, but Dads especially are going to be challenged to take their fatherhood to a whole new level.

I recently read Secure Daughters, Confident Sons by Glenn Stanton, and these two quotes from that book tie-in so well to the message of Courageous

“When a relationship between a boy and his father is loving and warm, as opposed to critical and stoic, those boys are indeed more likely to develop healthily in more masculine ways.”

“The girl who doesn’t have the power and beauty of her femininity affirmed by the first and most important man in her life [her Dad] will grow into a woman driven to flaunt it in the face of every young and older man, constantly making the very public and insecure statement, ‘I desperately need you to notice me as a woman!’”

Here’s a powerful 1-minute clip from Courageous

Make your plans NOW to see Courageous when it opens on September 30.

“The Best Movie Of The Year”

For a movie that won’t even open until September 30 to already be labeled “Best movie of the year,” you might think is merely marketing hype.

When you hear that the one who called it “Best movie of the year” is Pastor Rick Warren, you might think it’s a churchy movie.

But you’d be wrong.

I had a chance to see Courageous and I can tell you that this will be the best movie of 2011, and that it is definitely NOT a churchy movie.

Set against the backdrop of a city battling gang-related issues, four sheriff’s deputies struggle with being good dads and good law enforcement officers. In the process they learn what it takes to excel at both: it takes courage.

Courageous opens on September 30.

DO NOT MISS THE OPENING WEEKEND!
This is a movie that will challenge your whole family, but will be especially impacting for dads.

Secure Daughters, Confident Sons (book review)

Our society is bombarded by so many flat-out-wrong messages about boys and girls, and how to parent them. In Secure Daughters, Confident Sons, Glenn T. Stanton helps set the record straight.

Right out of the gate, Glenn makes an important statement about the need for a book such as this:

“If the rhetoric of political correctness keeps us from exploring the issue of gender differences, we lose something valuable to our humanity. Amazing scientific evidences of essential sex differences in the fields of anthropology, psychology, endocrinology, and neurology in the last few decades strongly disprove nearly all the thinking that drove the misunderstanding about gender in the first place. In fact, the more sophisticated this scientific research gets, the more it deepens our insight into the importance of male and female differences and how profoundly they exist within us.” (emphasis mine)

With a no-holds-barred approach, Glenn dismantles the politically-correct falsehoods like:

  • There are no real differences between boys and girls.
  • Kids can development just fine in a fatherless home.
  • Our children are just as healthy in a one-parent home as in a two-parent home.
  • Kids will be kids regardless of what their parents tell them.

The first few chapters alternate between information specifically for raising boys, and information specifically for raising girls. Then the later chapters zero in on the roles both Dads and Moms play in developing healthy, well-rounded, confident, secure children. Who (no surprise here) develop into healthy, well-rounded, confident, secure adults and future parents.

In one of the concluding chapters Glenn writes—

“Boys who grow up with warm and close connections with their fathers are more likely to develop a healthy masculine sense of self. …Boys who grow up with close, affectionate, and affirming relationships with their mothers have a better sensitivity to and understanding of women. …Girls who grow up close to affirming, warm, loving, and confident moms are more likely to be secure and healthy in their womanhood. Girls who grow up close to their fathers in loving and affirming relationships are more likely to be confident around boys and men as they grow.”

I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is for parents and soon-to-be parents to READ THIS BOOK! Raising children is an awesome responsibility, and we need all the help we can get!

I am a Multnomah book reviewer.

A Birthday Note

Dear Brandon,

Has it really been 11 years already?! As the old cliché says, “Time sure flies when you’re having fun!” And it certainly has been so much fun watching you grow up.

In many ways you have helped me grow up too. One of the things I most appreciate about you is your sensitivity to other people, and your ability to encourage them. I have a lot of notes from you around so that I will see them often. It seems like whenever I’m having a rough time, I stumble across one of your notes that helps get me refocused.

     You have taught me the value of encouragement. Did you know that the word encouragement literally means to put courage into someone?

  • Courage to do the right thing, even when everyone else is doing the wrong thing.
  • Courage to focus on God, even when everyone else is focusing on their fears.
  • Courage to give my very best, even when everyone else is trying to just get by.

Thank you, Brandon, for showing me the power of encouragement. One of your notes to me simply says, “Just trust God.” So I say the same thing to you, my son: Trust in Him in all you do, and He will make your path straight.

Happy 11th Birthday!

I love you,

     Dad

Humbled Dad

If you heard a popping sound earlier today, that was probably my suit coat buttons! I attended the Cedar Springs Rotary Club luncheon today as an honored guest, because my son Brandon was a winner in the essay contest.

The essay contest is for the entire 5th grade in Cedar Springs, where they are asked to write about someone who shows integrity. I’ve known for a couple of weeks that Brandon was one of only five winner selected, but he has carefully guarded his essay. Today at lunch was the first time either Betsy or I heard it.

You can watch Brandon read his essay here…

…or you can read the essay for yourself here:

Dad

     “And that is why God sent Jesus to earth.” That’s my dad practicing his sermon. If you didn’t just catch that, my dad’s occupation is a pastor. Personally I think my dad shows tons of integrity. Here’s some ways my dad shows this as a pastor.

     My first reason I think my dad shows integrity is he speaks God’s word to the people every Sunday and Wednesday at church, so in a way he’s educating people in God’s word.

     My second reason I think my dad shows integrity as a pastor is that he goes out of his way to counsel people at the church and people having a hard time in life. When he goes to hospitals or homes to pray for people, he’s showing his care. Maybe someone needs some tips for staying a healthy Christian, my dad can help.

     My next thing on the list is my dad helping people even in not so good places. Sometimes my dad has to go to the people when they need help. My dad says, “Jesus went to parties and bad places to spread God’s grace and love.” Sometimes my dad has to go to bad restaurants or has to sit in the smoker’s area of a restaurant. But he does it to show God’s love.

     My last reason I think my dad shows integrity as a pastor is he helps the city with activities. He gets the youth group involved and will do what he can.

     My dad also shows integrity as a dad. Here are some things I would say about my dad. My dad is always there for his family. If someone is in need of a ride home, my dad can probably squeeze it in. If someone gets hurt, he’s there for sure. If anyone has a problem, he’ll be there to solve it.

     My second reason my dad shows integrity to the family is by setting a good example for me to follow. But he still lets me grow in my own way. Those are the reasons my dad shows integrity to the family.

     I try to be more like my dad because my dad is a role model to me. He shows me the right from wrong. He helps me grow as a person and will always keep me on the right path. My dad plays with me and shows me humor. He’ll tell me stories about things he did, motivating me to do the same thing. But the thing I look to my dad for the most is to be a better Christian. My dad tells me a small sermon every day. It’s not something you would hear at church, but it just helps me go through my day.

     This is why I believe my dad is a great person and I hope from this story that you can see my dad shows integrity to everybody.

I am one humbled and PROUD dad!

Judge Or Father?

I’m still thinking about the powerful worship time we had in our Impact youth service on Wednesday night. I can’t think of another way to describe it, except to say that it was intimate.

We sang a song written by Michael Gungor called Wrap Me In Your Arms. The lyrics are simple:

There is a God who loves me
Who wraps me in His arms
And that is the place where I’m changed
And that’s where I belong

Take me to that place, Lord,
To that secret place where
I can be with You
You can make me like You
Wrap me in Your arms
Wrap me in Your arms
Wrap me in Your arms

Far too many people view God as a Judge. Make no mistake, God will judge all of humanity at the end of the age, but in the meantime, Scripture portrays God as a loving Father who wants to wrap us in His arms.

I love the picture in the story Jesus tells of the prodigal son: The young man who ran away from his father and squandered all of the wealth he had taken with him. When he reached the end of his rope, the wayward son turned toward home. If you were thinking of returning home after embarrassing your father and throwing away his money, would you want to return to a judge or a father?

The young man did turn toward home, and his father ran to him and wrapped him in his arms! How amazing!

On Wednesday night I encouraged our youth group to simply stretch their arms out toward their Heavenly Father and feel Him wrap them in His arms. It was so special to see tear-streaked cheeks and outstretched arms in the loving embrace of a God who loves anyone who turns to Him. Awesome!

I encourage you to do the same.

If you’ve blown it … if you feel distant from God … if you feel like you’ve let Him down … if you feel like you’ve embarrassed Him … see Him as a Father who is longing for you to return to Him. He will not judge you, but He will wrap you in His arms and make everything new.

If you wait until your life here is over without ever turning to God, then you will have to face God the Judge. Don’t wait! Embrace God your Father today.

The Imbalanced Mother

We had a great time celebrating Moms yesterday. Moms are these amazing creatures that seem to be everywhere and doing everything. This ability to multitask is a blessing, but it can lead to problems if Moms try to perfectly balance their lives through more multitasking.

Perfect balance is an impossibility. Just as soon as you think you have everything balanced, life throws you a curve: a sick child … a flat tire … change of plans … I’m sure you know the drill.

Instead of trying to be the perfectly balanced multitasker, I suggest that you become a purposely imbalanced, God-leaning mother.

Imbalance your day toward God.

Take the time necessary to lean into God, and the rest of your day will be well-ordered.

Dads and kids, the greatest thing you can do to honor your wife/mother, is to make sure she has undisturbed time alone with God. I promise you that after she spends this time, the rest of her day—and therefore your day—will go much more smoothly. Help her to imbalance her life.

Here’s a great poem from Faye Inchfawn written in 1920:

See, I am cumbered, Lord,
With serving, and with small vexatious things.
Upstairs, and down, my feet
Must hasten, sure and fleet.
So weary that I cannot heed Thy word;
So tired, I cannot now mount up with wings.
I wrestle – how I wrestle! – through the hours.
Nay, not with principalities, nor powers
Dark spiritual foes of God’s and man’s
But with antagonistic pots and pans:
With footmarks in the hall,
With smears upon the wall,
With doubtful ears, and small unwashen hands,
And with a babe’s innumerable demands.
I toil with feverish haste, while tear-drops glisten,
 
(O, child of Mine, be still. And listenlisten!)
 
At last, I laid aside
Important work, no other hands could do
So well (I thought), no skill contrive so true.
And with my heart’s door open—open wide—
With leisured feet, and idle hands, I sat.
I, foolish, fussy, blind as any bat,
Sat down to listen, and to learn. And lo,
My thousand tasks were done the better so.