6 Quotes From “When Work & Family Collide”

July 8, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

When Work & Family Collide is a timely message in our busy, go-go-go world. It’s hard to keep everyone in our lives happy when we are so busy. As author Andy Stanley says,  “The issue is never ‘Am I cheating?’ The issue is always ‘Where am I cheating?’” You can read my complete book review by clicking here.

These are six of my favorite quotes from this book:

“Let me take some pressure off. Your problem is not discipline. Your problem is not organization. Your problem is not that you have yet to stumble upon the perfect schedule. And your problem is not that the folks at home demand too much of your time. The problem is this: there’s not enough time to get everything done that you’re convinced—or others have convinced you—needs to get done.”

“Over time, our families learn that the only way to get our attention is to create a crisis. And let’s face it; it’s amazing how much time we can steal from work when our kids are in crisis. …Instead of allowing the most recent crisis to force the issue, why not be governed by the greater purpose? Why not ‘cheat’ by design?”

“Whereas work is task focused, the family is relationship focused. One is about doing, while the other is about loving. …You do your job. You love your family. It’s when we reverse the order that the tension escalates and the tug of war begins.”

“[Your family] wants to feel like your priority. It’s not enough for them to be your priority. They must feel like it.”

“Whenever you compromise the interests of a family member in order to fill gaps somewhere else you shuffle your priorities. Loyalty that was intended for a loved one gets displaced and given to someone else. However small, it increases the emotional load he or she must carry. It may not seem like a big deal. But it sends the message: You’re important… but right now someone else is more important.”

“It’s up to us to monitor the emotional weight being carried by each of our family members. Through honest, and sometimes awkward, communication we can learn to monitor the hearts of our loved ones.”

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When Work & Family Collide (book review)

July 5, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

Anyone NOT have a busy life? If your life is dull or uneventful, then you can stop reading this book review right now. However, if you have a full, busy life, you need to make the time to read When Work & Family Collide by Andy Stanley.

The subtitle of this book says it all: Keeping your job from cheating your family. The premise of this book is quite simple—you cannot fully satisfy both your office and your family, so someone is going to have to get cheated. In the introduction to the book, Andy Stanley says,

“Daily we decide to shortchange one thing in order to more fully experience another. …So we “cheat.” We give up certain opportunities for the sake of others. We invest in some relationships while neglecting others. We allocate our time the best we can, knowing all the while that somebody’s going to feel cheated. Unfortunately, that “somebody” is usually someone we care a great deal about.”

Pastor Stanley then goes on to outline why it’s so important that work gets cheated and not our families. One of my favorite quotes in the book is, “You do your job. You love your family. It’s when we reverse the order that the tension escalates and the tug of war begins.”

Like me, you may be thinking, “But I can’t ‘cheat’ on work! I’ll lose my job!” Using the biblical example of Daniel and some very practical advice, Andy Stanley helps you to see how you can keep your priorities in order, and make the adjustments that will help you do your job and love your family.

This book has some amazing thoughts, but it’s also a surprisingly easy read. In your busy, go-go-go schedule, you would be wise to make some time on a weekend to read this book, work through the discussion questions at the back of the book with your family, and then make the changes that will help both your work and your family to thrive. Everyone will benefit from this investment of your time.

I am a Multnomah book reviewer. Check out some of the quotes I shared from this book here.

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The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge (book review)

February 9, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

Next to being a husband, there is nothing I love more than being a Dad! I take my responsibility as a father very seriously, so that’s why I am always trying to grow in this area of my life. I just finished a 3-week journey through The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge by Carey Casey, and I am a better Dad for it.

As the name implies, this is designed to be read one day at a time over 21 days. At the end of each day’s lesson there are challenges to help Dads put into practice what they’ve just read. These challenges, I discovered, cannot be accomplished in a single day; they are intended to become lifelong habits. At the end of several of the chapters is a QR code that takes you to a short 2-minute video by Dr. Greg Smalley, who serves as a cheerleader/motivator to help Dads get moving.

I appreciated “the little things” that this book showed Dads could do right away. The principles in this book are not hard to implement, but they are simple steps that any Dad can do. At least, any Dad who wants to step up his fathering skills!

I loved it! I think lots of other Dads will too.

I am a Tyndale book reviewer.

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October Baby (movie review)

February 8, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

Betsy and I were privileged to see an advanced screening of October Baby last night, and I’m still trying to process all of my thoughts.

It was emotionally moving, but not sappy nor sentimental.

It was thought-provoking, but not philosophically deep.

It was laugh-provoking, but not a comedy.

It addressed a woman’s struggle, but it’s not a chick flick.

It addressed parenting, but it’s not a dry documentary.

It is just a GOOD movie.

The script was good, the acting was good, the cinematography was good, even the soundtrack was good. The message that all life is precious comes through clearly, but not in an in-your-face, shove-it-down-your-throat way.

The movie is rated PG-13 because of the subject matter (a girl on a quest to find her birth mother, after discovering that she’s the survivor of a failed abortion attempt). But because of the purity of the movie (not a single swear word, zero sexuality), I would recommend families see this together.

This is a story that needed to be told, and the Erwin brothers did a phenomenal job telling that story.

Send a message to Hollywood, go see October Baby on opening weekend, March 23-25.

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The Hour That Matters Most (book review)

October 14, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

I’ve been a big fan of the relationship-strengthening books from Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott for quite awhile. In The Hour That Matters Most they combine together two of my favorite topics: family and food.

I have always appreciated family meal times. Especially as my kids have gotten older—and busier—the dinner hour seems to be the one oasis during the day when we can all reconnect. This is exactly the point that the Parrotts, and co-authors Stephanie Allen and Tina Kuna, are trying to make. And they do an excellent job making their point using statistics, research, tips, stories, and even recipe ideas.

First the statistics. Research has shown that families that eat together:

  • Get along with each other better.
  • Handle stress better.
  • Have lower rates of drug abuse, alcoholism, premarital sex, depression, eating disorders, and suicide.
  • Have students who perform better in school academically and socially.

Then there are the conversation-starters. The authors give ample suggestions of how to draw everyone into a conversation around the dinner table, to gain insight into what is happening in each family member’s day.

And finally, but certainly not insignificantly, there are the recipe. Some mmm, mmm good recipes! Sprinkled throughout the book—and in full color in the middle of the book—are some easy-to-make, hard-to-resist recipes. After all, it’s hard to have a family meal without the meal!

Whether you want to enhance your family dinner times, or you are ready to (re)establish a time for your family to connect over a meal, The Hour That Matters Most is an excellent read.

I am a Tyndale book reviewer.

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It’s Time To Be Courageous

September 30, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

Courageous opens today. I cannot urge you strongly enough to go see this film this weekend.

Leaders in every sphere — political, medical, educational — have acknowledged that the breakdown of the family is one of the leading factors in the breakdowns in government, physical and emotional health, and in our schools. This movie deals with our family situations head-on. More to the point, this movie calls on men to make a bold, courageous stand for their families.

I had a chance to view this movie several months ago, and I still can’t wait to go see it again. You will be challenged and energized by this film. Find showing times near you by clicking here.

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Courageous Countdown

September 16, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

I cannot wait for Courageous to open… just two weeks from today! I had the opportunity to see an advanced screening of this movie, and it is phenomenal. Please go see it on the opening weekend (September 30), as that is the weekend that Hollywood and the media pay attention to.

And just to get you ready, check out the opening scene from this movie —

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Integrity At Home

August 30, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

I read this verse the other day in my devotions, and it’s really been doing a number on my heart.

…I will lead a life of integrity in my own home. (Psalm 101:2 NLT)

I would hate it if I was considered a hero at work, but considered a zero in my own home.

Here’s what I’m processing:

  • Do I earn the same level of respect at home as I do at the office?
  • Do I put in the same diligence into growing my home life as I do growing my career?
  • Am I as forgiving with my family as with friends and coworkers?
  • Do I have the same level of preparation at home as I do at work?
  • Am I learning the craft of being a husband and father like I’m learning the craft of being a pastor?
  • Do I honor my commitments at home like I do with others?

I don’t want to live as John Bunyan described Talkative in Pilgrim’s Progress: “He was a saint abroad and a devil at home.”

Instead one of my life verses is this: I have no greater joy than knowing my children all walk in the truth (3 John 4).

The only way this will be possible is if I led a life of integrity in my own home.

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Calling Out Manhood

August 1, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

Last week I shared about the outstanding movie Courageous which opens on September 30. This movie will be enjoyed by everyone in the family, but Dads especially are going to be challenged to take their fatherhood to a whole new level.

I recently read Secure Daughters, Confident Sons by Glenn Stanton, and these two quotes from that book tie-in so well to the message of Courageous—

“When a relationship between a boy and his father is loving and warm, as opposed to critical and stoic, those boys are indeed more likely to develop healthily in more masculine ways.”

“The girl who doesn’t have the power and beauty of her femininity affirmed by the first and most important man in her life [her Dad] will grow into a woman driven to flaunt it in the face of every young and older man, constantly making the very public and insecure statement, ‘I desperately need you to notice me as a woman!’”

Here’s a powerful 1-minute clip from Courageous…

Make your plans NOW to see Courageous when it opens on September 30.

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Plugged-In Parenting (book review)

July 27, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

Media saturates our lives. But it’s even more of a factor for the lives of our children. For years I’ve trusted the insights and movie/TV reviews from Focus On The Family’s Bob Waliszewski. Now in Plugged-In Parenting we get to go behind the reviews to learn the whys of the reviews.

In today’s world, we look at our presidents, our prime ministers, our princes and our potentates and we describe them as our leaders, but they’re not. They’re merely our rulers. The leaders are the people who change the minds and stimulate the imaginations of the public, whether children or adults. That means the movie makers, the people who make TV shows, the entertainment people in the business. —Douglas Gresham

Bob lays out some practical, biblically-sound principles that will help parents develop a framework for making sound decisions about media consumption. His approach is not a top-down, because-I-said-so approach, but one that involves even the kids in understanding why these decisions need to be made.

One of the more thought-provoking chapters is about developing a family constitution which gives the guidelines for what types of media are acceptable or unacceptable for your family.

I would recommend this book for every household who wants to ensure that only the highest quality media is being viewed in their homes. In addition, I appreciate the Plugged-In reviews both on their website and on the handy iPhone app.

I am a Tyndale book reviewer.

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