The Price Of Divorce

There is a toll for divorce, and I think the price is higher than we want to pay. There is a price…

  • Michigan divorce rates…economically
  • …emotionally
  • …physically
  • …relationally
  • …spiritually

Wait, spiritually? Here’s what God says—

Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because He pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.

Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are His. And what does He want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” (Malachi 2:13-16, New Living Translation)

The Reagan Diaries (book review)

The Reagan DiariesPresident Ronald Reagan was the first president I was old enough to vote for, so he’s always held a special place in my own personal history. After reading several books about President Reagan, I wanted to read something in his own words. I’m so glad I did! The Reagan Diaries is a forthright look at an amazing man.

If you have studied American history during the Reagan presidency—or maybe you lived through that era of our history—you will gain a greater appreciation for the tough decisions that were made during this time. Reagan came into office on a platform that brought a sense of encouragement to an American people who were feeling a bit beat up, and then he tirelessly worked to follow through on the promises he had made, despite a Congress that was initially very antagonistic toward his policies.

Several things really stood out in these diaries. First is Reagan’s reliance on God. Time and again he writes about the wisdom he found in the Scriptures, or the strength he received in prayer. His faith is inseparable from his success in the White House. His faith was one that came to the forefront especially in dark times. Laying in the emergency room after being shot by a would-be assassin, he wrote:

“I focused on that tiled ceiling and prayer. But I realized I couldn’t ask for God’s help while at the same time I felt hatred for the mixed up young man who had shot me. Isn’t that the meaning of the lost sheep? We are all God’s children & therefore equally beloved by Him. I began to pray for his soul and that he would find his way back to the fold. …Whatever happens now I owe my life to God and will try to serve Him in every way I can.”

Another thing that appears in page after page is his love for Nancy. He writes frequently about how lonely the White House seemed when she was gone, he counted down the days until they would be reunited, and he looked forward to the all-too-short times when they could vacation together or take a break on the weekend just to be alone. On the first wedding anniversary they celebrated in the White House, he wrote, “more happiness than any man could rightly deserve.” And back at George Washington Hospital after the assassination attempt he said,

“I opened my eyes to find Nancy there. I pray I’ll never face a day when she isn’t there. Of all the ways God has blessed me giving her to me is the greatest and beyond anything I can ever hope to deserve.”

Finally, I love Reagan’s “realness.” He never took himself too seriously. He remained accessible to as many people in the White House as he could, and spent a lot of time calling and mailing United States’ citizens he read about in the newspapers or saw on the news reports. He was also brutally honest about his own shortcomings. After one press conference he wrote, “I wasn’t very scintillating.”

This is an excellent book to read for both a study in leadership, and as a companion to other U.S. history books of that period. At 700+ pages, it’s a hefty read, but well worth your time.

8 Quotes From “I Never Thought I’d See The Day”

I Never Thought I'd See The DayYou can read my book review of Dr. David Jeremiah’s I Never Thought I’d See The Day by clicking here. These are eight quotes that especially caught my attention in this book. Unless the quotes are otherwise attributed, they are from Dr. Jeremiah.

“I’ve shaken my fist in anger at stalled cars, storm clouds, and incompetent meteorologists. I’ve even, on one terrible day, that included a dead alternator, a blaring tornado-warning siren, and a horribly wrong weather forecast, cursed all three at once. I’ve fumed at furniture, cursed at crossing guards, and held a grudge against Gun Barrel City, Texas. I’ve been mad at just about anything you can imagine.

“Except unicorns. I’ve never been angry at unicorns.

“It’s unlikely you’ve ever been angry at unicorns either. We can become incensed by objects and creations both animate and inanimate. We can even, in a limited sense, be bothered by the fanciful characters in books and dreams. But creatures like unicorns that don’t exist—that we truly believe not to exist—tend not to raise our ire. We certainly don’t blame the one-horned creatures for our problems.

“The one social group that takes exception to this rule is atheists. They claim to believe that God does not exist and yet, according to empirical studies, tend to be the people most angry at Him.” —Joe Carter

“While the atheist arrogantly persists in the delusion that his reason is fully capable of figuring out all that there is, the religious believer lives in the humble acknowledgment of the limits of human knowledge, knowing that there is a reality greater than, and beyond, that which our senses and minds can ever apprehend.” —Dinesh D’Souza

“God brought two perfect, sinless people together in the Garden of Eden, a man and a woman who knew the perfect love of God. They did not get married to find love but to walk together in the unity and purpose God created them to fulfill: the primary task of birthing and raising the next generation. And in the process, love happened.”

“It is significant that while Adam was single, satan did not approach him or tempt him to disobey God. He waited until after Adam’s marriage to launch his attack. You would think it easier to attack one person instead of two, but by waiting he was able to attack not just an individual, but also God’s foundational building block for harmony and stability—marriage. By attacking marriage, he was able to create division and disharmony between humans themselves as well as between humans and God.”

“The oneness found in marriage is the same kind of oneness found in the Trinity.”

“We can be lulled into complacency by adopting uncritically the principle of submission to government on the assumption that the Christian history of our nation makes it safe to let our leaders do our thinking for us. But we cannot do this in our post-Christian nation where God’s Word is being marginalized. Nothing could be more dangerous for Christians and churches than to wander thoughtlessly down this path of increasing biblical indifference—a path that could well lead to a place where the Bible is not merely marginalized, but banned outrightly.”

“If the Church is being ignored because we preach the message of ‘Jesus Christ and Him crucified’ (1 Corinthians 2:2), or because the Gospel has become ‘a stumbling stone and rock of offense’ (Romans 9:33) to the world, that’s one thing. But if we are deemed irrelevant because we’re an anemic version of the world’s entertainment options or because we aren’t playing the world’s game nearly as well as the world does, then that’s another thing. That’s a tragedy.”

“William Tyndale wisely sought to avoid the confusion between ‘Church” and ‘church’ by translating ekklesia as ‘congregation’ instead of ‘church.’ …We must maintain a clean understanding of the difference between Church and church—and the priority of the former over the latter. Church buildings can necessitate huge investments of resources for construction and maintenance, and they are only temporary. Keeping the focus on people is the biblical priority and will result in the Church’s remaining relevant.”

I Never Thought I’d See The Day (book review)

I Never Thought I'd See The DayThe subtitle of Dr. David Jeremiah’s book is the most telling—I Never Thought I’d See The Day: Culture At The Crossroads. It is true that our American culture is at a crossroads, and decisions will have to be made now that could very well effect the direction of the church, and of this nation.

As a side note, I have a bit of an issue with the title of the book. To think we’d never see the day where our culture was sliding away from God’s standard is a bit of hyperbole. Any student of history knows that cultures have always gone through such things many, many times. What is true with American culture now has been true with other cultures, in other eras, on other continents. However, this by no means that Dr. Jeremiah has misdiagnosed where America is now.

Before a cure can be realized, a patient must first know he is sick. Then he must go to a doctor and be willing to follow the prescribed course of treatment. In many ways, Americans know something’s “not quite right” with our society, but have been unable to pinpoint the root cause. Dr. Jeremiah correctly diagnoses an American culture that has become increasingly humanistic, antagonistic toward Jesus, pluralistic, and obstinate toward the teachings of the Bible. In each chapter, Dr. Jeremiah diagnoses one symptom of our disease, and lays out a God-honoring cure.

Here’s the million dollar question: Will we follow the course of treatment?

In the last chapter, Dr. Jeremiah says,

I am pessimistic about man’s ability, independent from his Creator-God, to solve the problems he creates—especially problems of enormous scale such as those our nation and the world face today. I am, however, an optimist about God. And it is toward Him that we must turn our attention….

I Never Though I’d See The Day is a sobering read. Each chapter shows us just how far from God we’ve slid (that’s the pessimistic part), but then Dr. Jeremiah lays out a plan to bring us back to a God-fearing society (that’s the optimistic part). It’s a very interesting read which I especially think church leaders and God-fearing civic leaders must read.

I am a Faith Words book reviewer.

Check out some quotes from this book here.

6 Quotes On Marriage & Family From “The Book Of Man”

I really enjoyed reading The Book Of Man by William J. Bennett (you can read my book review here). The topics were very broad, so I’ll be sharing some of my favorite quotes on the different sections in this book over the next few days.

Here are six quotes about marriage and family…

“The family is the association established by nature for the supply of men’s every day wants.” —Aristotle 

“All great change starts at the dinner table.” —Ronald Reagan

General Robert E. Lee was on his way to Richmond, and was seated in the extreme end of a railroad car, every seat of which was occupied. At one of the stations, an aged woman of humble appearance entered the car, carrying a large basket. She walked the length of the aisle and not a man offered her a seat. When she was opposite General Lee’s seat, he arose promptly and said, “Madam, take this seat.” Instantly a score of men were on their feet, and a chorus of voices said, “General, have my seat.” “No, gentlemen,” he replied, “if there was no seat for this old lady, there is no seat for me.” 

“You must not encourage, but rather give yourself to what is kind and pure, chaste, true, loving, elevating, ennobling, and by all means learn to distinguish between love and lust. This is the switch at which so many are side-tracked to ruin. …Lust will degrade you; love will elevate you. Lust will make you vile, selfish, sordid, low; love will make you pure, chaste; lovable, manly. Lust will make you earthly, sensual, devilish; love will make you godlike, continent, noble.” —Rev. Lewis Johnson

“Fatherhood can sometimes be walking the floor at midnight with a baby that can’t sleep. More likely, fatherhood is repairing a bicycle wheel for the umpteenth time, knowing that it won’t last the afternoon. Fatherhood is guiding a youth through the wilderness of adolescence toward adulthood. Fatherhood is holding tight when all seems to be falling apart; and it’s letting go when it is time to part. Fatherhood is long hours at the blast furnace or in the fields, behind the wheel or in front of a computer screen, working a 12-hour shift or doing a 6-month tour of duty. It’s giving one’s all, from the break of day to its end, on the job, in the house, but most of all in the heart.” —Ronald Reagan

“And yet there is no relation on this side of the grave, more sacred, more dignified, or more elevated, than that of husband and wife. The parties might be, and should be, to each other, perpetual sources of consolation and pleasure. There should be no distrust, no suspicion, no equivocation between beings so circumstanced. They should live as much as possible as if animated by one soul and aiming at one destiny. Neither should look for perfection in the other, and yet each should endeavor to excel the other in generous efforts of gentleness, kindness, and affection.” —Robert Morris

6 Quotes from “Porn-Again Christian”

Earlier today I posted a review of Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography and Masturbation. Here are some of the quotes from this book that really caught my eye

“Simply, according to God, marriage and sex are related, connected, and exclusive.”

“The cold hard truth is that most guys’ struggles are only known by their fellow Christian buddies and unless Christian dudes man up and stop arguing about stupid secondary theological issues and spend their energies holding one another accountable to get dominion over their underwear, then Christian friendship is nothing more than Christian fakery.”

“The act of lusting after the unclothed body of a woman is not a sin. The issue is which woman’s unclothed body you are lusting after. If she is your bride, then you are simply making the Song of Songs sing again to God’s glory and your joy. If she is not your bride, then you are simply sinning. It was God who clothed our mother Eve after her sin, and it is Eve’s daughters who undress themselves for themselves for the camera in violation of God’s desire that the female bodies he formed be seen only in their full glory by their husbands.”

“Pornography has the sad effect of objectifying people into objects with parts, thereby divorcing a person from their body and consequently diminishing their dignity.”

“The Bible is emphatically clear that God’s men should abstain from certain sins that war against their souls. First, God’s men should not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14). Second, God’s men should not covet their neighbor’s wife, even if her clothes leave little to the imagination (Exodus 20:17). Third, God’s men should not participate with prostitutes who use their bodies as a commodity to be rented for a good time or a good photo (Proverbs 23:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:15-16). Fourth, God’s men should not be polygamous, because their father Adam and Head Jesus each had one bride (Eve and the Church). Fifth, God’s men should not be fornicators who slide their hands, which God made to lift up in prayer (1 Timothy 2:8), up the shirt of their girlfriend, even if she asks (1 Corinthians 6:9-13).”

“Eve may or may not have been beautiful, but to Adam she was glorious because she was all he had ever known. Practically, he had no standard of beauty to compare his bride to—she was his only standard of beauty. In creation, we see the wise pattern that for every man his standard of beauty is not to be objectified, but rather it should simply be his wife. This means that if a man has a tall, skinny red-headed wife then that is sexy for him, and if his neighbor has a short, curvy brunette wife than that is sexy for him. Pornographic lust exists to elicit coveting and dissatisfaction that no woman can satisfy because she cannot be tall and short, endowed and waifish, black and white, young and old, like the harem laid out in pornography.”

Christian men, you MUST read this book!

Porn-Again Christian (book review)

The title of this book should let you know that it’s a PG-13 topic. And by that, I mean that Dads should be discussing these topics with their sons by the time they are 13 years old. Mark Driscoll is simply brilliant in Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography and Masturbation.

The Bible has the best ideas for not only safe sex, but for the most enjoyable sex. In fact, as Pastor Mark points out, the Bible is more explicit on the topic of married sexual relations than most pastors are!

God is the Creator. He only creates what is good. satan is a counterfeiter and a plagiarist. Anything that is good and will bring glory to God (like a marriage that is sexually satisfying), satan will pervert and distort and mar in his attempt to keep people from glorifying God and finding their fullest satisfaction in Him. This book uncovers the lies and calls biblical truth to the forefront.

Porn-Again Christian is written directly to Christian men. It is a wake-up call for these men to become real men and take the biblical lead in maintaining purity, in increasing the level of intimacy in their marriage, and in teaching their children the difference between God’s truth and the devil’s lies.

Guys, there is no excuse for you to not read this book. You can click here to get the ebook version for FREE. The book is not very long, and you should be able to read it rather quickly. Look up the Scriptures Pastor Mark shares in this book, and then be the man God created you to be: the man who will say “No!” to the lies this culture has bought into about sex and pornography, and who will say “Yes!” to the fulfilling, satisfying relationship God intended your marriage to be.

Dads, this would be a great resource for you to use with your teenage son (and perhaps even your pre-teen son, if you deem it necessary).

C’mon men, let’s do it God’s way!

P.S. To whet your appetite for this book, I have shared some quotes that really caught my attention.

Don’t Stop Now

Today is Valentine’s Day—a day set aside for us to express our love to our sweethearts. Sadly, for many people, other than their birthday this may be the only day that someone is focused on them.

My encouragement to you is don’t stop today. Don’t let today be the only day those close to you see and hear and experience your love for them.

Don’t let your spouse wonder.
Don’t let your kids guess.
Don’t let your friends hope.

Don’t stop “studying” your loved ones. Learn what love language they speak, and then don’t stop speaking it. (If you haven’t read it already, I highly recommend Dr. Gary Chapman’s great book The Five Love Languages.)

Flowers, candy, cards, and romantic dinners today are a start. Don’t stop now. Keep it going all year long.

Sex, Marriage & Fairytales

Another great word from Jeff Bethke—

Another cure to the fairytale relationships that end up more like a horror story, is in Craig Groeschel’s outstanding book Love, Sex, And Happily Ever After.

Love, Sex, And Happily Ever After (book review)

There is something about the way Craig Groeschel writes that just connects with me (maybe it’s the Craigness that we share!). So when I heard about Love, Sex, And Happily Ever After, I knew it was going to be an excellent read. And I was not disappointed!

With divorce rates so high in our country, far too many couples enter into marriage with the thought in the back of their minds that “this might not work out.” Using sound biblical principles and examples, Craig shows that it’s not only possible for a marriage to go the distance, but that our marriages can get better and better and better as they go along.

In his very creative style, Craig covers principles like:

  • Falling in love with The One
  • Finding your Two
  • The first, second, third, fourth and fifth gears of dating relationships
  • The dangers of living together (“playing house”) before marriage
  • How to know if you should breakup with someone you’re dating
  • Heart habits that will help your marriage go the distance

When I was sharing with a friend some of the thoughts I was reading, he said, “That sounds like good old fashioned common sense.” And that’s exactly what this book is, because it is so firmly based on The Book.

If you would like to add something to your marriage, there is a lot to discover in here. But I think this book is especially appropriate for dating and engaged couples. In fact, since my role as a pastor means I get to do quite a bit of pre-marriage counseling, I’m going to make this book required reading for all of the couples I counsel.

I am a Multnomah book reviewer.