gentleness | Craig T. Owens

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Harmless

April 13, 2012 — Craig T. Owens

When a story from the past is so well known, we can easily insert ourselves into it with a certain bias. When we do this, we read things into the story because of the facts we know now.

For instance, we know Judas betrays Jesus. So when we see his name in any story in the Bible, we immediately associate the word traitor with him, and we can only view him through that lens. Therefore, it’s easy for us to put ourselves in the place of one of the other eleven disciples of Jesus, and assume that they too knew Judas was a traitor.

Except they didn’t.

Look at this verse after Jesus says, “One of you will betray Me”—

His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them He meant. (John 13:22)

The Eleven were not suspicious of Judas. They didn’t say, “Well, I just knew it was him,” or “I kinda expected that from Judas.”

One of the things Jesus taught His followers was for them to be gentle as doves. I like how the King James Version says it: harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16).

Pastor, I know you especially have been hurt by people in your church. They have betrayed you, gossiped about you, turned on you. If people did that to Jesus, why would you expect anything less? And yet we are still to remain harmless as doves.

The Eleven never suspected a traitor. They were innocent. I think they were so focused on Jesus, they didn’t have time to be cynical about others. We view Judas cynically; they didn’t.

What a testimony to others when we are harmless:

That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and depraved nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world. (Philippians 2:15)

You may have been hurt many (many, many, many…) times in the past. But being harmless means that, like the disciples, we are “at a loss” as to whom it could be when someone tells us there is a traitor in our midst.

Stay focused on Jesus, so you may love others as He loves them.
Allow God to heal the wounds others have inflicted on you.
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any cynicism in your heart.
Repent of your suspicion of people.
Be harmless toward everyone.
Grieve over the traitor.
Then stay focused on Jesus, not the traitor and not your wound.

Posted in Pastoring. Tags: gentleness, Gospel of John, Gospel of Matthew, Jesus Christ, Judas Iscariot, pastoring, Philippians. Leave a Comment »

Gentle Restoration

June 29, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I’m struggling with this one. I have a dear friend who is perplexed by an ongoing drug addiction. He appeared to have it under control until things in his life started spiraling out of his control, and he gave in to his old habit again.

So the Bible says that if one of my brothers slips up I’m supposed to restore him gently. How exactly does one do that? I bounced between so many emotions during the last 48 hours: anger at this addiction, sorrow for what my friend is going through, heaviness at what he’s doing to himself and his family, hatred at the devil for his evil tricks, and a passion to see him whole and healthy and free again. Then my own thoughts have baffled me: “How do I gently restore my brother? What does restoration look like?”

Restoration is an interesting Greek word. It can mean setting a broken bone; mending torn fishing nets; manning a fleet of ships; or supplying an army with its provisions.

Restoration is NOT canceling a debt or removing the consequence for someone’s actions. I like what Dave Anderson wrote, “One of the best lessons you can teach your people is that when they choose a behavior they choose the consequences for that behavior.”

Restoration is feeling the pain of what’s been broken or defeated, learning the lesson from that, and then repairing the break or deficiency in such a way that it won’t break or be defeated again. I have the responsibility and the privilege of doing some mending for my friend.

What about gentle? Over time this word has come to mean something like wishy-washy, no backbone, no guts. Gentle originates from the Latin word gentilis which means belonging to the same family or clan. To be gentle is to be strong enough to respond in a controlled manner to someone who is just like me. Gentleness is strength under control.

I hope I’m gentle enough to restore my friend, to mend what is broken in him so he never has to be defeated by this addiction again. He has some consequences to face. But I am committed to helping him carry this heavy load all the way to the finish line.

Check it out—

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1-2)

Gentle restoration is hard work. But it’s so worth the effort!

If you have any thoughts on how to gently restore a friend, I’d love to have you share them with me in the comments section.