10 Quotes From “Every Man’s Battle”

Every Man's BattleGuys, you need to read Every Man’s Battle (check out my book review to find out why I say this). Fellas, we can be the men that God desires us to be! Check out some quotes from this powerful book.

“Your purity must not depend upon your mate’s health or desire. God holds you responsible.”

“Why do we find it so easy to mix our standards of sexual sin and so difficult to firmly commit to true purity? Because were used to it. We easily tolerate mixed standards of sexual purity because we tolerate mixed standards in most other areas of life.”

“While in business it’s profitable to seem perfect, in the spiritual realm it’s merely comfortable to seem perfect. It is never profitable. … Excellence is a mixed standard, while obedience is a fixed standard. We want to shoot for the fixed standard.”

“I was asking myself, ‘How far can I go and still be called a Christian?’ The question I should have been asking was, ‘How holy can I be?’”

“We have countless churches filled with countless men encumbered by sexual sin, weakened by low-grade sexual favors—men happy enough to go to Promise Keepers but too sickly to be promise keepers. A spiritual battle for purity is going on in every heart and soul. The costs are real. Obedience is hard, requiring humility and meekness, very rare elements indeed. … If we don’t kill every hint of immorality, we’ll be captured by our tendency as males to draw sexual gratification and chemical highs through our eyes. … As we ask ‘How holy can I be?’ We must pray and commit to a new relationship with God, fully aligned with His call to obedience.”

“Your body isn’t reliable for any spiritual battle, much less the battle for sexual purity and obedience. … Your body often breaks ranks, engaging in battle against you. This traitorous tendency pushes our sexual drive to ignore God’s standards. When this sexual drive combines with our natural male arrogance and our natural male desire to drift from the straight life, we’re primed and fueled for sexual captivity.”

“For males, impurity of the eyes is sexual foreplay…because foreplay is any sexual action that naturally takes us down the road to intercourse. Foreplay ignites passions, rocketing us by stages until we go all the way. God views foreplay outside marriage as wrong. … It’s critical to recognize visual sexual impurity as foreplay.” 

“If we get into sexual sin naturally—just by being male—then how do we get out? We can’t eliminate our maleness, and we’re sure we don’t want to. For instance, we want to look at our wives and desire them. They’re beautiful to us, and we’re sexually gratified when we gaze at them, often daydreaming about the night ahead and what bedtime will bring. In its proper place, maleness is wonderful. Yet our maleness is a major root of sexual sin. So what do we do? We must choose to be more than male. We must choose manhood. … Our Heavenly Father also exhorts us to be men. He wants us to be like Him. When He calls us to ‘be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect,’ He’s asking us to rise above our natural tendencies to impure eyes, fanciful minds, and wandering hearts. His standard of purity doesn’t come naturally to us. He calls us to rise up, by the power of His indwelling presence, and get the job done.”

“The hands of Jesus…never touched a woman with dishonor. … Jesus not only never touched a woman with dishonor, He never even looked at a woman in dishonor. Could I say that? … ‘Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself,’ one might say. ‘It’s natural for a male to look. That’s part of our nature.’ But what you’re doing is stealing. The impure thought life is the life of a thief. You’re stealing images that aren’t yours. … When we’re thieves with our eyes, we’re embezzling sexual gratification from areas that don’t belong to us, from women who aren’t connected to us.”

“When God looks around, He’s not looking for a man’s man but for ‘God’s man.’ His definition of a man—someone who hears His word and acts upon it—is tough, but at least it’s clear.”

Watch for more quotes soon…

4 Responses to “10 Quotes From “Every Man’s Battle””

  1. 9 More Quotes From “Every Man’s Battle” | Craig T. Owens Says:

    […] You can read other quotes from this book by clicking here. […]

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  2. sherry Says:

    What if he gave up porn and videotaped sex (according to his fantasies, forceful oral sex) is that ok with God? I tried to be this person for him. I had to drink but i did consent twice. But I’m disgusted and a mess over it. I asked him to delete the videos but he won’t. He believes that it’s ok because we are married so it’s not wrong. I’m confused. He got rid if his porn so am i being unfair to hate that he has me recorded doing these things. I just need clarity as to what’s ok in God’s eyes then i can get more demanding that they go or i can back off and accept that is his and what he wants. Can someone help me?

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    • Craig T. Owens Says:

      Sherry, my heart breaks for what you are going through. NO ONE should be treated the way you are being treated!

      Since you had to drink to prepare yourself for this, and then have these terrible feelings of guilt afterwards, that alone should tell you that what your husband has asked you to do is wrong. He may have claimed to “give up” porn, but what he’s really doing is trying to get you to reenact what he has seen in those pornographic videos. In essence, he is still tied to his porn addiction. I am so sorry … for you and for him. This addiction is so destructive.

      You asked “Is that okay with God?” The answer is clear: NO! The Bible instructs husbands to treat their wives with the same love, compassion and dignity with which Jesus Christ treats us. Jesus loves us and serves us. He never, ever uses us to fulfill a fantasy nor to be a part of His selfish cravings. He poured Himself out completely to shield us from disgrace and humiliation. What your husband has asked you to do is one of the least Christ-like things that anyone could do. Again, my heart is in anguish for you and for your husband, who has clearly become blinded by his selfish addiction.

      Sherry, the Bible also speaks to wives about loving and respecting their husbands. Your going along with his twisted fantasies is not respecting him, nor is it helping him to respect your dignity. You need to give him a simple, loving “no.” He can treat you better. He should treat you better. He should treat you like Jesus would treat you. To love and respect him means holding him to a standard he is capable of reaching. A simple place to start is not humiliating you.

      Is there help? Yes!! But the first question is: does he want to get better? You cannot make this decision for him; he will have to make it for himself. If he does want to get better, and see your marriage get better, and see you healed from this humiliation and guilt, I can recommend a couple of places to start. Reading the book Every Man’s Battle is a good starting point. One of the authors of this book, Steve Arterburn, also has some online resources, and a help line, at his website We Dared.

      I hope this helps you, Sherry. I will be praying for you and your husband.

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      • sherry Says:

        This does help me to know where to go from here. NO. I can say no. But why, even though i love God and hate thisentire issue, do i feel so crippled by knowing that if i do not “meet that need” he will figure out a way to. I know i need to take responsibility and do the right thing. That fear, no matter how irrational it sounds, is real.
        He is conflicted o this. He says he wants help and to be faithful to me completely. He says he is confused about if this is twisted or not. I would luke to show him the response but am afraid for him to see i posted this.
        I need to think. I appreciate prayer because this is going to take strength. I know i need to trust God. Thank you for the response. What you said is what i feel in my heart but he is so convinced that because it is within a marriage it’s ok. I guess i was buying in and just needed to hear that i wasn’t just being a prude or to sensitive. I needed to know i wasn’t crazy for feeling this way.

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