Benefits In Delaying Sex Until Marriage

It’s nice to see some scientific research on this. In a very encouraging article from WebMD, researchers point out some great benefits of saving sex for marriage.

I encourage you to read the full article. And then, parents, have this conversation with your teenagers… again! You cannot repeat this often enough, because the message is so counter-cultural. In case you don’t have time to read the full article, here are the most important findings:

“Researchers say their findings are clear, that ‘the longer a couple waited to become sexually involved, the better that sexual quality, relationship communication, relationship satisfaction and perceived relationship stability was in marriage.’”

Couples who waited until marriage to have sex:

  • rated sexual quality 15% higher than people who had premarital sex
  • rated relationship stability as 22% higher
  • rated satisfaction with their relationships 20% higher

As a pastor I’ve counseled so many people who have damaged relationships because of pre-marital sex. I’ve had many tell me, “I wish we would have waited until marriage to have sex.” But I’ve never had someone say, “I’m so glad we had sex before we got married!”

Save yourself from the pain, by saving yourself for your spouse.

Flight Is Your Best Fight

Listen to the podcast of this post by clicking on the player below, and you can also subscribe on AppleSpotify, or Audible. 

He was ripped and he was handsome. She was lonely and she was hungry. He followed God and she gave lip-service to the numerous gods of Egypt. He was Joseph and she was Potiphar’s wife. He was in charge of all of Potiphar’s household and she was attracted to that power.

A pretty heady place for Joseph to be. Think about it, guys, how would you feel? You’re good looking, successful, and the object of some babe’s desire. What are you going to do with all of that?

Do you know what Joseph did? He ignored her to the point of almost being rude:

And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.

Or even be with her is a rude phrase. It means she was doing everything she could think of to bring him to her, and he was thwarting her at every turn:

  • She walked into a room; he walked out.
  • She planned her path to run into him; he went out of his way to change his route.
  • She smiled; he kept a straight-faced.
  • She flirted; he ignored.
  • She was persistent; he was consistent.

There are many temptations the Bible tells us to fight. But there are two that we’re advised to flee: idolatry and sexual immorality.

Joseph chose fleeing over fighting.

Solomon said, “When you know what that sort of woman is up to, don’t even walk down her street.”

Talk to Wisdom as to a sister. Treat Insight as your companion. They’ll be with you to fend off the Temptress—that smooth-talking, honey-tongued Seductress.

Jesus said, “Don’t even entertain any thoughts about that kind of woman.”

From this type of temptation, your best fight is flight.

Guys, be like Joseph: stay away, take a different path, don’t smile at the flirty jokes, don’t hang out at her desk, don’t treat her politely. RUN AWAY.

Flight is your best fight against sexual temptation.

►► Would you please prayerfully consider supporting this ministry? My Patreon supporters get behind-the-scenes access to exclusive materials. ◀︎◀︎

The Importance Of Purity

Yesterday I read the Family Resource Council’s report about the devastating effects of pornography. Some highlights (or should I say “lowlights”?):

  • Married men who are involved in pornography feel less satisfied with their conjugal relations and less emotionally attached to their wives.
  • Pornography use is a pathway to infidelity and divorce and is frequently a major factor in these family disasters.
  • Pornography viewing leads to a loss of interest in good family relations.
  • Pornography is addictive.
  • Men who view pornography regularly have a higher tolerance for abnormal sexuality, including rape, sexual aggression, and sexual promiscuity.
  • Prolonged consumption of pornography by men produces stronger notions of women as commodities or as “sex objects.”
  • Child-sex offenders are more likely to view pornography regularly or to be involved in its distribution.

This is the reason my wife and I stress purity so highly with our children. Betsy is going through Every Young Woman’s Battle with our daughter, and I’m using Every Young Man’s Battle with our sons.

There are only two battles that Scripture consistently warns us to flee from: idolatry and sexual promiscuity. We cannot stress purity enough, and it’s never too early (or too late) to talk to your kids about this.

Hey, parents, don’t let their peers have the loudest voice in your kids’ ears about sexual standards. You help them set godly standards. And do it now.