6 Quotes From “When Work & Family Collide”

When Work & Family Collide is a timely message in our busy, go-go-go world. It’s hard to keep everyone in our lives happy when we are so busy. As author Andy Stanley says,  “The issue is never ‘Am I cheating?’ The issue is always ‘Where am I cheating?’” You can read my complete book review by clicking here.

These are six of my favorite quotes from this book:

“Let me take some pressure off. Your problem is not discipline. Your problem is not organization. Your problem is not that you have yet to stumble upon the perfect schedule. And your problem is not that the folks at home demand too much of your time. The problem is this: there’s not enough time to get everything done that you’re convinced—or others have convinced you—needs to get done.”

“Over time, our families learn that the only way to get our attention is to create a crisis. And let’s face it; it’s amazing how much time we can steal from work when our kids are in crisis. …Instead of allowing the most recent crisis to force the issue, why not be governed by the greater purpose? Why not ‘cheat’ by design?”

“Whereas work is task focused, the family is relationship focused. One is about doing, while the other is about loving. …You do your job. You love your family. It’s when we reverse the order that the tension escalates and the tug of war begins.”

“[Your family] wants to feel like your priority. It’s not enough for them to be your priority. They must feel like it.”

“Whenever you compromise the interests of a family member in order to fill gaps somewhere else you shuffle your priorities. Loyalty that was intended for a loved one gets displaced and given to someone else. However small, it increases the emotional load he or she must carry. It may not seem like a big deal. But it sends the message: You’re important… but right now someone else is more important.

“It’s up to us to monitor the emotional weight being carried by each of our family members. Through honest, and sometimes awkward, communication we can learn to monitor the hearts of our loved ones.”

When Work & Family Collide (book review)

Anyone NOT have a busy life? If your life is dull or uneventful, then you can stop reading this book review right now. However, if you have a full, busy life, you need to make the time to read When Work & Family Collide by Andy Stanley.

The subtitle of this book says it all: Keeping your job from cheating your family. The premise of this book is quite simple—you cannot fully satisfy both your office and your family, so someone is going to have to get cheated. In the introduction to the book, Andy Stanley says,

Daily we decide to shortchange one thing in order to more fully experience another. …So we “cheat.” We give up certain opportunities for the sake of others. We invest in some relationships while neglecting others. We allocate our time the best we can, knowing all the while that somebody’s going to feel cheated. Unfortunately, that “somebody” is usually someone we care a great deal about.

Pastor Stanley then goes on to outline why it’s so important that work gets cheated and not our families. One of my favorite quotes in the book is, “You do your job. You love your family. It’s when we reverse the order that the tension escalates and the tug of war begins.”

Like me, you may be thinking, “But I can’t ‘cheat’ on work! I’ll lose my job!” Using the biblical example of Daniel and some very practical advice, Andy Stanley helps you to see how you can keep your priorities in order, and make the adjustments that will help you do your job and love your family.

This book has some amazing thoughts, but it’s also a surprisingly easy read. In your busy, go-go-go schedule, you would be wise to make some time on a weekend to read this book, work through the discussion questions at the back of the book with your family, and then make the changes that will help both your work and your family to thrive. Everyone will benefit from this investment of your time.

I am a Multnomah book reviewer.

Enemies Of The Heart (book review)

An admission: I’m a huge Andy Stanley fan. This pastor has a God-given talent to explain things in ways that not only help them “stick,” but in ways that are easily applicable too. In Enemies Of The Heart, Andy helps identify and confront four things that could derail anyone’s life.

Guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy are the four enemies Andy confronts. In a theme that runs throughout the book, Andy describes how each of these can be viewed as a debt-to-debtor relationship. This dynamic is a huge growth impediment to any relationship — whether with God or mankind.

Andy points out:

  • Guilt says, “I owe you.”
  • Anger says, “You owe me.”
  • Greed says, “I owe me.”
  • Jealousy says, “God owes me.”

In the first half of the book, Andy teaches the reader not only how to diagnose these heart problems, but also the danger in allowing these enemies to stay lodged in our hearts. In the second half of the book, Andy shares how to rid our hearts of these enemies, and how to improve the long-term health of our heart.

Since all four of these enemies are relationship killers, and tend to isolate us from other people, the study guide at the back of the book is especially helpful. Because this study guide is designed to be used in discussions with one or more people, there is an instant accountability process built in to rooting out these heart enemies.

Just as our physical heart health affects the rest of our lives, so too does our spiritual/emotional heart health. Don’t wait until it’s too late! This book can help you live a much, much healthier life.

I am a Multnomah book reviewer.

Andy Stanley & Jim Collins

Powerful video for church leaders —

I Don’t Have To Be A Know-It-All

I’m still reading through Craig Groeschel’s newest book The Christian Atheist (my review is coming soon). This morning I read a statement that Craig quotes from Andy Stanley

“You don’t have to understand everything to believe in something.”

I don’t know about you, but this give me such freedom! Especially in my role as a pastor where sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to understand it all.

I don’t have to have an answer to every question to point people to God.

I don’t have to be able to unravel every theological mystery to tell people Jesus loves them.

I don’t have to know how He does it to lead people to the empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

I don’t have to know why everything happened the way it did to care for hurting or confused people.

The bottom line is I can only know the part – the infinitesimal part – that the Holy Spirit has made alive to me. But that part is more than enough for me to keep on loving my God and my Savior!

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