What Your Son Isn’t Telling You (book review)

Here’s a shocker (maybe you should sit down for this one): Boys are different from girls. Gasp! I know any parent who has both a son and a daughter is saying, “Duh!” Here’s the problem though: since girls are typically more verbal, it’s easier to know what’s on their minds. Not so much with boys.

That’s why I so enjoyed What Your Son Isn’t Telling You by Michael Ross and Susie Shellenberger. It’s not what your son is saying, it’s what he isn’t saying that becomes frustrating. Michael and Susie do a great job of demystifying a boy’s brain. From the physiological makeup of the male brain, to the typical coping mechanisms of guys, to the deepest fears and greatest desires that our sons have, this book helps arm Moms and Dads for better communication with their son.

The book is laced with email communications from guys from pre-teen to early-college ages. These first-person insights give real validity to what the authors are teaching. I also appreciated the very easy-to-apply communication tips to help open the door from “isn’t saying” to “saying.”

Although I am blessed to have a great wife who is actively involved with our two sons, I took note of the authors’ advice for single Moms. I was really pleased to see the special attention for a Mom that has to raise a son on her own.

Any parents with sons will appreciate this timely and practical book. I highly recommend it.

I am a Bethany House book reviewer.

4 Responses to “What Your Son Isn’t Telling You (book review)”

  1. Concerned Mom Says:

    As I was reading your post I was reminded of some staggering new stats about very young kids and porn. I am sure you are aware of these. I want to offer some invaluable insight that has really helped us and saved years of heartache and hidden pain for my kids. Most families I know have blockers and few use password protected computers.

    I chose to use X3 Watch from XXXchurch. It is a free program that tracks all of the internet traffic on a specific computer. We also added it to ipod touches. It is meant to inspire accountability and communication by sending bi-weekly updates.

    I installed it and forgot about it. Then I started getting notices of questionable sites being visited. The beautiful part of this was that we were able to talk to this child about the issue and now it is in the open. If that child had simply been denied access, we would never have known that they had been struggling. In fact the problem was rooted with people from school, but we didn’t know!

    I say all of this to help you be aware of helps. If I was able to figure out how to get around some of these blockers, so can kids.


    • Craig T. Owens Says:

      I wholeheartedly agree with you. I love the doors of communication that are opened with X3 Watch. I use it on my computers to remain accountable to others too.

      For anyone who is interested in this great tool, you can download free here.


  2. Stephanie Vazquez Says:

    I too agree with Concerned Mom…I think blocking things on the computer from our kids really only makes them feel so inferior and a challenge to ‘outsmart the system’. I would rather have an open conversation and (a watchful eye) about what we should stay away from on the internet. Just because its accessable doesn’t mean we should look at it. Some kids do have a self control problem and if it should be to the point they can’t stop themselves, then the internet can be turned off altogether (believe it or not–we CAN live without it.) But for the most part I think the internet can be an important part of a family’s life if used appropriately. Someone just told me a couple of weeks ago that they had put a ‘tracer’ on their teen son’s cell phone and could tell where he was at any given minute. For that boy’s senior year he had lied to his parents about where he had been 100% of the time (he never knew about the gps tracer).


  3. Pinky Says:

    As a mother of two sons, I am definitely going to get this book and read it. Thanks for the review. And I really appreciate the Concerned Mom’s post regarding X3 Watch.


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