The Right Time To Do The Right Thing

April 21, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I spent yesterday afternoon and a good portion of this morning with a precious family. The 93-year-old patriarch of the family is in his last days on this earth. This family is absolutely wonderful, and it has been such a blessing to spend this time with them.

They laugh, tell stories, sing songs, read Scripture, joke with each other, and cry. The full range of emotions overflowing from a full life.

I have learned something — the human heart is designed to know and to be known. The human heart longs for relationship… deep, meaningful, satisfying relationship. In order to achieve this type of relationship, two things are key: (1) Time and (2) Empathy.

(1) Time. Relationships cannot be microwaved. We cannot just show up, press a few buttons, and — voilá — expect a meaningful relationship. Of course, just spending a lot of time together doesn’t mean a relationship will be successful either. However the greater the quantity of time that is spent means a greater likelihood of quality time.

(2) Empathy. The Bible says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). It doesn’t say, “If people are low, bring them up; if they are too high, bring them down to realistic levels.” Empathy is all about letting the other person drive the agenda… to match whatever they are feeling. A Swedish Proverb says, “A shared joy is a double joy, and a shared sorrow is half a sorrow.”

Here’s a good pattern to follow —

Right Time + Right Thing = Meaningful Relationships
                                     <or>
Quality Time + Empathy Time = Satisfying Relationships

I’m trying to learn this and apply it to my life. How about you?

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I Checked Nothing Off My To Do List Today

April 16, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Several people emailed me throughout the day saying, “I came to your blog but there was nothing new for today.” First of all, thanks — I’m honored that you are checking in so regularly.

My blog today was a casualty of the day — I got absolutely nothing done that was on my To Do list. But I had an incredible day.

I used to be a real hard-charging, task-oriented, bottom-line, project-driven, to-do-list lovin’ guy. I still am naturally bent that way, but I’ve learned something… (drum roll, please)… relationships don’t fit neatly on a To Do list.

I can hear some of you now, “Wow, Craig! That’s deep! You just figured that out?!?”

No, actually I’m a work in progress. I’ve been learning this for awhile, and today was just a good reminder.

I had some time alone with God as I read my Bible this morning. As I was pondering a passage of Scripture, I just happened to linger there. And linger. And linger. It was challenging, yet perplexing; exciting, yet scary. It took some time for the Holy Spirit to help make application to my life. It was too good to rush.

Then off to Panera to meet with a good friend. We shared with each other the challenges that pastors know all too well. It was not a conversation that could fit into a pre-arranged time. So we lingered. And lingered. And lingered. It was energizing to reconnect.

Then a phone call from another fellow pastor sent me driving 30 minutes north. We did a little spiritual reconnaissance in a community that needs a thriving full-gospel church. This kind of boots-on-the-ground recon cannot fit neatly into a Daytimer. So we lingered. And lingered. And lingered. It was great to dream.

Then off to hospice to visit and pray and cry with a family whose patriarch is nearing the end of his life here. Thankfully, because of his personal relationship with Jesus, he’s getting ready to begin his Real Life that will last forever. And so I sat with this great man and his family and lingered. And lingered. And lingered. It was sweet to share this intimate moment with dear friends.

So my To Do list for today remains just as full as when I got up this morning. But I’m so pleased with today. It feels great to get nothing checked off, and yet to accomplish so much!

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Be An Intrusive Friend

April 15, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Yesterday I talked about how to defeat depression in our personal lives. Maybe you’re not battling depression yourself, but since anti-depressants are one of the most prescribed medications, there’s a good chance that someone you know is dealing with depression. Beyond medicine or counseling one of the greatest antidotes for depression is a friend… an intrusive friend.

In 1 Kings 19 when Elijah was running scared and slipping into depression, there is an important verse at the beginning of the story — Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there (v. 3).

One of our most natural reactions when we’re battling depression is to withdraw from others. It’s natural to want to be alone, but it is one of the worst things to do. Throughout Scripture, powerful people became vulnerable to attack when they left their friends behind — Samson, David, and Peter are prime examples. Even Jesus was tempted by the devil when He was alone in the wilderness.

So if it’s natural to want to be alone when depression is raining on our souls, a true friend will have to be an intrusive friend… a tenacious friend… a persistent friend. I love the lines in the Toby Mac song “Face Of The Earth” that say —

Now Hope Road is calling
Let’s pack you up and move
‘Cause real friends are willing to intrude
So I’m gonna push you in because I wanna love you well
Let the ghosts of your past rest

If you have a friend who is starting to become distant, dropping out of activities, or spending more time alone, these may be the warning signs of depression. Don’t let him be like Elijah and leave you behind… love him enough to intrude in his life. Your encouragement just may be the best anti-depressant he will ever receive.

So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it. — 1 Thessalonians 5:11, The Message

Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God. — 1 Samuel 23:16, New Living Translation

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Destinations

April 7, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

“Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace, that
where there is hatred, I may bring love;
where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
where there is error, I may bring truth;
where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
where there is despair, I may bring hope;
were there are shadows, I may bring light;
where there is sadness, I may bring joy.” — Francis of Assisi

There are times when I go through a difficult spot in my life and I can see the areas where I am growing as a result of successfully navigating the challenge. However, the tough time I just went through wasn’t one of those time.

The quote above resonates with me. I want to be someone who brings out love, forgiveness, harmony, truth, faith, hope, light, and joy in other people. So although this challenging time I’ve gone through hasn’t been pleasant for me, it has been such a joy to see others “step up,” mature, stretch, and grow as they have been alongside me.

One more quote — “It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one of these destinations.” — C.S. Lewis

To which destination are you helping those around you? What characteristics are you bringing out in those alongside you?

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Puppy Love

March 26, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

grace-1 

Three weeks ago I had come to the end of a particularly rough week, so when I got home I told my family I was declaring the next day to be “National Be Kind To Craig Owens Day.” I figured that was one way to get some love!

That day was so wonderful I decided to extend NBKTCO Day through the weekend, and I talked Betsy into letting us buy a puppy. And so Grace became a part of our family.

Since I didn’t want to leave her home alone, I started bringing Grace with me to my office. While I’ve been trying to potty train her, she has been training me in a few areas too. Here are some of the lessons I’m rediscovering —

  • Always greet people warmly. Even if they only left the room a couple of minutes ago. It always makes people smile when they are greeted so warmly.
  • Treat everyone like a friend. It doesn’t matter if they are the one who feeds you or a perfect stranger, everyone deserves to be treated like they are the nicest person alive. 
  • Genuine puppy “kisses” makes anyone’s day!

The Apostle Paul had a friend like Grace… someone always so welcoming and encouraging to others. Paul wrote to Philemon, “Friend, you have no idea how good your love makes me feel, doubly so when I see your hospitality to fellow believers.” (Philemon 1:7, The Message).

Thanks, Grace, for the lessons. I’m learning how to show some puppy love to everyone.

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Mighty People

March 6, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I was reading King David’s list of Mighty Men. Many theologians believe that the names that appear in 2 Samuel 23 was the list and descriptions that David wrote himself. He was not threatened to have such competent and gifted people around him. Those leaders challenged David to lead at a higher level.

In the spirit of this list, I was thinking about my own list of Mighty Men (and Women). These are some of the incredibly gifted and highly competent people who surround me and help me do more than I could have done on my own. David listed his “Big Three” first, and then the rest of the names in no particular order of importance. I, too, list my Big Three first, and then the rest of my Mighty People in no special order.

Jesus – my Master; as I’ve gotten to know Him better through the years He becomes a closer and closer Friend.
Betsy – my helpmate and very best friend.
Bubba – my covenant brother, like Jonathan was to David.
My parents – incredible counselors, godly examples.
Tom & Pinky – fearsome fellow warriors.
Dick Jr. – sharpening my iron more than anyone else can.
T.J. – armor-bearers don’t come any stronger or any more valiant.
C-Dog – one of the wisest, kindest people I know.
Steve & Keri – faithful, dependable, Spirit-led prayer warriors.
Dave & Jessica – ready for anything at anytime.
Bob & Pat and Stan & Clara – mature Christians who are still young at heart and so forward-looking.
Sister Warnick – always seeing more in me than I can see myself.
Barney – personifies all of the reasons why I do what I do, a trophy of God’s grace.
Jim & Nate – fellow shepherds whose hindsight and insight give me foresight.
Hank – years of wisdom continually poured into my life.
Aaron – growing like Timothy, destined to be a world-changer.

To my Mighty Men & Women I say, “Thanks!”

Are you brave enough to have Mighty People around you too?

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Giant Killers

March 2, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Multiple choice quiz… with which of the following biblical characters are you familiar?

(a) David son of Jesse.
(b) Abishai son of Zeruiah.
(c) Sibecai the Hushathite.
(d) Elhanan son of Jaare-Oregim.
(e) Jonathan son of Shimeah.

Honestly, now, how did you do? I’m guessing you at least got (a) since David is probably the best known king of Israel. But what about the other guys? Have you ever heard of them before?

Do you know what they all have in common? They are all a part of King David’s inner circle, and they are all giant killers.

Isn’t it interesting how like attracts like? David became the original giant killer when he killed Goliath. Abishai, Sibecai, Elhanan, and Jonathan were probably attracted to David because of his bravery, because of the stories they had heard of his victory over Goliath. But then something starts to stir inside of these men… they want to emulate David; they want to be giant killers too.

So here are the questions I’m asking myself today:
(a) Have I won any victories that would attract other “warriors” to me?
(b) Is what I’m doing today something I would want those closest to me to emulate?
(c) Are there some giants still hanging around that I need to defeat?

Who’s hanging out with you? You can find out a lot about the significance of the victories you have won by who’s attracted to you, and by who’s imitating your lifestyle.

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Celebrating Stones Of Remembrance

February 26, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

annual-business-meeting1

In 1 Samuel 7, there is a story where God defeated Israel’s enemies. After the victory, Samuel erected a stone of remembrance and said, “Thus far has the Lord helped us.” Year after year when Israelite families would journey past this monument, and children asked, “Dad, what does that big stone mean?” They could be reminded of God’s protection and provision… and they could celebrate.

We setup our own stone of remembrance at church last night. We took an evening to gather together and celebrate what God did for us in 2008 —

  • People became followers of Jesus Christ and began their discipleship journey, others became disciple-makers.
  • We offered our first Vacation Bible School, and made great relationships with the families in our neighborhood. 
  • Our Back 2 School party provided bags and bags of school supplies to area students. 
  • Light The Night was a great alternative to a dark-and-scary Halloween night. 
  • The Gift told the true story about the greatest gift. 
  • We were able to show the true meaning of CHRISTmas to some special families.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! What a joy it is to know that “thus far has the Lord helped us.” And what anticipation energizes me as I’m already looking forward to an even bigger stone of remembrance next time!

There are so many people to thank. I won’t start naming them all here (you know who you are!) so that I don’t accidentally leave some people out. But I do want to single out my wife Betsy. She is my constant companion, my best friend, my favorite playmate, my wisest counselor, my daily encouragement, and a great pastor’s wife… Baby, I couldn’t celebrate all of these stones of remembrance without you!

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‘Brothers And Sisters The Same’

February 25, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I love my “Coffee With The Pastor” times every Tuesday! Yesterday a relatively new Christian (and a great friend), Barney Fritcher, shared with me his heartache over people who snipe and bicker and complain about their church. In Barney’s short time being a follower of Jesus Christ, he’s attended two churches which have closed their doors as a direct result of infighting. How incredibly sad!

God has given Barney a great gift of poetry. After our conversation yesterday, he penned the following lines that are just too good not to share with you —

 

Look around at the sign of the times
churches are closing their doors
is it because God has left them
or because of internal wars

There’s people trying to find the Savior
but they don’t know where to go
one says, “this church is a good one”
another says “no, it ain’t so”

What happens when the doors lock
what happens to the lost soul
is this what Jesus was all about
was fancy carpet His real goal

Does anyone know where God truly is
did He tell you while deep in prayer
does He need stained glass windows
for Him to be present there

If Jesus Himself came to your church
do you think that they’d let Him in
or would they say, “that’s outrageous
the people He’s with commit sin”

Do you think that you’ve overcome
that you’re a sinner no more
if that’s what you think, I’m sorry
Jesus has something for you in store

We all are sinners each and everyone
none of us are innocent and pure
if you think that you are different
I don’t think that you are so sure

So before you go pointing your finger
before you go laying the blame
remember what it says in the Bible
we are brothers and sisters the same

 

How wonderful, how beautiful, when brothers and sisters get along! — The Bible: Psalm 133:1, The Message

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Sharing “Observations”

January 23, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

There are so many people that challenge me and stretch me. One is a guy I call my “big brother” (because he is older than me!). He is a great brother… one of the “Jonathans” in my life that I blogged about yesterday.

So I am very excited to share with you the wit, the insight, and the observations of Greg Heeres’ Oberservations Blog. Check it out, bookmark it, add it to your blogroll — I promise that you too will be encouraged and challenged by Greg’s observations.

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