Thursdays With Oswald #32

April 28, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

This is a weekly series with things I’m reading and pondering from Oswald Chambers. You can read the original seed thought here, or type “Thursdays With Oswald” in the search box to read more entries.

Don’t Explain; Pray

     Eliphaz claimed to know exactly where Job was, and Bildad claims the same thing. Job was hurt, and these men tried to heal him with platitudes. The place for the comforter is not that of one who preaches, but of the comrade who says nothing, but prays to God about the matter. The biggest thing you can do for those who are suffering is not to talk platitudes, not to ask questions, but to get into contact with God…. Job’s friends never once prayed for him; all they did was to try and make coin for the enrichment of their own creed out of his sufferings.

From Baffled To Fight Better

Great reminder: The biggest thing you can do for those who are suffering is … get into contact with God.

‘Nuff said.

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No Fast Food Prayers

January 5, 2011 — Craig T. Owens

If there is one thing the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me during this week of prayer, it’s this: I need to spend more time praying for people.

Not more time studying for Sunday morning messages. Not more time reading. Not even more time hanging out with people. But praying for them.

Not more time talking to them. Not more time thinking about them. But more time talking to God about them.

There is nothing better I can do. And not just a “fast food” prayer, either, but deliberate, personalized prayer. Look what David wrote –

Don’t they know anything, all these impostors? Don’t they know they can’t get away with this—Treating people like a fast-food meal over which they’re too busy to pray? (Psalm 14:4, The Message)

Bull’s-eye!

Time to get back to praying…

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Borrowed Brains

August 12, 2010 — Craig T. Owens

“We should not only use all the brains we have,

but all that we can borrow.” — Woodrow Wilson

It’s so important to learn from others… to borrow their brains. I try to take something from other people’s brains every day.

  • Every morning I begin my day by studying the timeless truths found in the Bible. Then I pray to ask God to give me the mind of Christ for my day.
  • Throughout my day I learn from the brains of other business and ministry leaders. People who have been-there-done-that and are willing to share are an invaluable source of wisdom.
  • I also consume a regular diet of biographies and autobiographies of past and present leaders. I try to put myself in their shoes to see why they made the decisions they made.
  • And I have some close friends that can give me their honest insight and critique.

One of the saddest things is to hear someone say, “I’m a self-made man” or “I’m a self-made woman.” Really?! That’s rather limited, isn’t it?

So whose brains are you borrowing? Please share in the comments so that others can tap into those brains too.

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Sharper

December 18, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Yesterday was one of those days that I was on “receive” mode. As a pastor I usually spend more days in the “dispense” mode: teaching, counseling, advising. But yesterday I was blessed to sit back and soak in some great counsel. And I’m sharper for it.

It’s too bad that many people never take the time to allow others to advise them. Or, if they do go through the motions of “listening” to advice, they never put that counsel into action.

I met with a seasoned pastor yesterday morning. He asked me several questions to assess where I was personally and professionally, and then he gave me some invaluable insight. He’s one of those “been-there-done-that” guys who has learned the lessons of history well, and he was gracious to share with me.

Last night I invited my Impact teaching team over to my house. After sharing dinner together I listened as they weighed in on our upcoming series in our youth services. Since they are closer in age to our students, their insight into the teenage mind was so keen. They were able to help me better understand the challenges and culture of middle and high school students. And I’m sharper for it.

A few thoughts from some other wise counselors…

“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.” – Proverbs 1:5 (KJV)

“Those who will not be counseled, cannot be helped. More souls are ruined by pride than by any other sin whatever.” – Matthew Henry

“Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.” – Proverbs 11:14 (The Message)

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” – Proverbs 15:22 (NIV)

“To accept good advice is to increase one’s own ability.” – Goethe

Are you getting sharper? Are you listening to good advice?

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Whirlwind Weekend

July 24, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I’m up early (as usual, since this is the best time of the day!) getting ready for a full weekend. As a general rule I consider Saturday my Sabbath Day. Sundays are usually “work days” for me, although I don’t feel like I’m working when I’m at church… it’s just way too fulfilling. But this weekend is going to be a little different.

Studying my Bible this morning, because it’s the best way to start every day. Looking at the life and leadership of Nehemiah.

Still fasting along with our Impact! youth group until noon today. I’m just so proud of these leaders for setting a great example. Hey, if you’re in the area over the next four Wednesdays at 7:00pm we’re talking about setting an example from the life of Timothy. Join us and you’ll see some real live example-setters!

Sipping some green tea and praying for some very special friends. I love the connection to our Heavenly Father I have in prayer.

Scooting south in a couple of hours for a family reunion with my missionary relatives. These family members are my heroes! They serve in Israel and Sudan, and it’s rare that they’re in the USA at the same time. This summer is one of those times, so we’re going to enjoy catching up.

So missing (already!) not being at our new home on Sunday. I haven’t even spoken on a Sunday as the “official” pastor yet, but it already feels like home. I can’t wait to get back!

Synced my iPod with some great listening for the 8-hour roundtrip this weekend. Going to get some good stuff in me while I have the windshield time.

A busy weekend, but one I know will recharge my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual batteries. What’s on tap for your weekend? I pray it is as fulfilling as I know mine will be.

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Full Tank

July 15, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

The other day a friend of mine wrote on Facebook that he was shopping with his daughter. He half-jokingly added, “I think that is her love language!” I say half-jokingly because I think the time with Daddy was speaking volumes to his daughter.

Spending time shopping with Dad was filling her love tank!

Have you ever felt like one of your relationships was in a rut? Or maybe even in a rut with ends in it (also known as a grave!)? Do you ever feel like the other person just doesn’t get you? Have you ever been frustrated that the other person doesn’t understand all that you are doing for him/her?

My guess is that you are speaking different love languages.

Dr. Gary Chapman wrote an amazing book The Five Love Languages. In his book he lays out five “languages” that we use to communicate our love to one another —

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch

When you and I communicate, we naturally communicate in a way that is most comfortable to us. We communicate in our primary love language. But if the other person in the relationship has a different love language, no matter how much you love them, you are simply not getting through effectively. You are leaving the other person with a near-empty love tank.

I would suggest you start by taking a brief love language assessment to determine YOUR OWN love language first. This is the language you will feel most comfortable using. Second, you need to learn the love languages of OTHERS CLOSE TO YOU so you can change your love dialect.

In the great love chapter the Apostle Paul says this, “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things” (v. 11, New Living Translation). Our love — and the way we express it to others — should always be growing up. If you are trying to communicate your love to someone special in the same ways (the same “languages”) you’ve always used, there’s a good chance your love is being viewed as childish.

As you mature in your expressions of love — as you speak the other person’s love language — you will begin to fill their love tank. Guess what happens next? Out of a full love tank, the other person is motivated to begin to speak your love language… to fill your tank. It can become so much fun to love with a full tank! Because when the other person’s love tank is full, almost any love language will work for them… wow, what a blast!

By the way, my love language is quality time; Betsy’s is words of affirmation. Our three children are all different: gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. After you take the assessment, please feel free to comment on what your primary love language is, and whether you knew that already or that result was surprising to you.

Love on!

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Sharper Thinking

May 29, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Yesterday I was challenged to do a lot of thinking. To think about things I’ve not considered before, and to think about things I have considered before but from a different perspective.

Yesterday Nate Elarton convened a Pastor’s Leadership Thinking Lab. The purpose was to use Warren Bullock’s book When The Spirit Speaks as a springboard to talk about the vocal gifts of the Holy Spirit in operation in our church services (see 1 Corinthians 12-14). At the outset we all reaffirmed our unwavering commitment to our fellowship’s fundamental truths — those were non-negotiable. The challenge was to think about and discuss the practicalities of the how’s in our services. (You can read some of the real-time quotes from our Lab here — they are tagged with “PLTL.”)

It was a bit intimidating being in the room with such smart people. These are guys with way more education and experience than me… guys who have had the privilege of studying and discussing this topic with some of the greatest Pentecostal thinkers of our generation. I felt a little out of place. In fact, during the lunch break one of my friends commented, “Have you ever felt like that in a roomful of tuxedos you’re the one brown shoe?” My feelings exactly.

But King Solomon wrote, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17, New International Version). The iron of my colleagues definitely sharpened me yesterday.

I also like what John Maxwell said, “Some of my best thinking has been done by others.” In other words, these really smart guys have thought about some things in ways I haven’t; they’ve been exposed to some great thinkers that I haven’t; they’ve experienced some things that I haven’t. But spending the day with them was like getting that education they received, having those conversations with great thinkers they had, and experiencing those things they experienced.

Did I agree with every thing that was shared? No.

Was I challenged to think differently? Yes.

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, “The truest test of a first-rate mind is the ability to hold two contradictory ideas at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”

If you really want to sharpen your thinking, get around some people smarter than you. Spend time with people who see things differently than you. But most of all, make sure these folks are one in purpose with you. All of the guys in this Lab shared the same passion to see God glorified and people drawn into a deeper relationship with Jesus. That’s what made yesterday so rewarding for me.

Do you have some “iron” friends in your life that are sharpening your thinking?

 

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When Friends Wound

May 6, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Bill Hybels wrote in Axiom, “The nature of human beings is such that we tend not to drift into better behaviors. We usually have to be asked by someone to consider taking it up a level.” I have learned that this is true not only for behaviors, but for crucial decisions too.

I’m in the process of contemplating some major decisions for my life. During this time I am grateful for friends that can give me their counsel, and can share with me their wisdom.

I’m also grateful that they wound me.

Huh? Yes, I am glad for friends who wound me!

The wise King Solomon wrote, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:6, New International Version). So true. Those who don’t care about you don’t ask the tough questions; those who care about you challenge your logic and your reasoning. Those who don’t care about you let the little things slide; those who care about you challenge you to not settle for the status quo.

The New Living Translation renders this verse, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” I would much prefer to be wounded by a friend during the decision-making time, than to have lots of so-called love up front, only to walk smack-dab into a huge problem later, wouldn’t you? So when I have an important decision to make, I get around people who love me enough to wound me.

And not only for the big decisions, but I need sharp friends for the day-in-day-out things that will help me “take it up a level.” Solomon also said, “Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces” (Proverbs 13:20, The Message).

Many years ago a Romanian friend shared with me a proverb from his homeland: “Show me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.”

What does your choice in friends say about you? Do your friends love you enough to wound you? Do your friends help you take it to the next level?

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Routine Weekend Rewind

April 27, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

Whoa, this weekend seemed like a whirlwind! Lots of interesting and noteworthy stuff packed into 72 hours.

Great homegoing celebration for John “Jack” Rivers on Saturday morning. What an incredible legacy he left. We celebrated his life with his wife, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren. Wow!

I love my extended family. Not just those related to me by blood, but those that call me “brother” because of our mutual relationship with Jesus Christ. It was great to see brothers and sisters comforting the extended Rivers family. There’s just something special about having those that truly love you around in times of loss or crisis.

Driving in the rain is just slightly (!) stressful. We were in torrential rain all the way to West Michigan, and most of the way back home. That kind of rain makes a two-hour trip seem a whole lot longer when the stress level is elevated. I’m grateful that God kept us safe.

Short, but sweet, time with my family. Nice to have some of Mom’s cooking and spend time with my folks, my sister and brother-in-law, and my nephews.

Incredible service at Calvary Assembly of God in Cedar Springs! The worship team loves Jesus and they rock! Loved seeing the enthusiasm for worship and for the Word among both young and old. I look forward to getting back to visit this enthusiastic group again!

Great phrase in Switchfoot’s song Faust, Midas and Myself, “And what was once routine was now the perfect joy.” My life is anything but routine, but the “simple” things around me everyday are truly the perfect joy.

Enjoy your “perfect joys” this week!

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The Right Time To Do The Right Thing

April 21, 2009 — Craig T. Owens

I spent yesterday afternoon and a good portion of this morning with a precious family. The 93-year-old patriarch of the family is in his last days on this earth. This family is absolutely wonderful, and it has been such a blessing to spend this time with them.

They laugh, tell stories, sing songs, read Scripture, joke with each other, and cry. The full range of emotions overflowing from a full life.

I have learned something — the human heart is designed to know and to be known. The human heart longs for relationship… deep, meaningful, satisfying relationship. In order to achieve this type of relationship, two things are key: (1) Time and (2) Empathy.

(1) Time. Relationships cannot be microwaved. We cannot just show up, press a few buttons, and — voilá — expect a meaningful relationship. Of course, just spending a lot of time together doesn’t mean a relationship will be successful either. However the greater the quantity of time that is spent means a greater likelihood of quality time.

(2) Empathy. The Bible says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). It doesn’t say, “If people are low, bring them up; if they are too high, bring them down to realistic levels.” Empathy is all about letting the other person drive the agenda… to match whatever they are feeling. A Swedish Proverb says, “A shared joy is a double joy, and a shared sorrow is half a sorrow.”

Here’s a good pattern to follow —

Right Time + Right Thing = Meaningful Relationships
                                     <or>
Quality Time + Empathy Time = Satisfying Relationships

I’m trying to learn this and apply it to my life. How about you?

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