12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid (book review)

12 Huge MistakesI read a lot of books, but very few of them get a “must read” designation from me. For parents and teachers, 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid by Dr. Tim Elmore fully earns my must-read label.

The future of our schools, our businesses, our communities and our country is being determined right now in our homes and in our schools. The way we raise our kids now will have far-reaching implications for all of us. Dr. Elmore has such a great way of speaking to the leadership issues of our young people, that I cannot urge you strongly enough to read this book.

Real quickly, the 12 huge mistakes that parents and teachers need to avoid are:

  • We Won’t Let Them Fail
  • We Project Our Lives On Them
  • We Prioritize Being Happy
  • We Are Inconsistent
  • We Remove The Consequences
  • We Lie About Their Potential And Don’t Explore Their True Potential
  • We Won’t Let Them Struggle Or Fight
  • We Give Them What They Should Earn
  • We Praise The Wrong Things
  • We Value Removing All Pain
  • We Do It For Them
  • We Prepare The Path For The Child Instead Of The Child For The Path

The book opens with a simple parenting quiz that will allow assess where you are in these 12 areas. Then you can turn to the chapter on which you scored the highest in the “overfunctioning parent” scale, and deal with that issue first. Each chapter is jam-packed with practical tips to correct that particular mistake.

Dr. Elmore describes the purpose behind his book this way—“Here’s the bottom line. I believe we need to face some new issues as parents. We must define what kids need from us to mature in a healthy way. We must figure out what hinders their growth and what equips them to be great adults. We must become both nurturers and trainers, knowing that we are not raising children, but future adults. I offer this book as a reference guide as you face your toughest challenges and attempt to get kids ready for life as they leave your home or school. Here’s to correcting our mistakes along the way—for their sake.”

Parents and teachers, go get this book!

Links & Quotes

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Some good reading from today…

I was totally blown away when I saw this morning that BibleGateway featured my chart The Kings & Prophets Of Judah & Israel!

[INFOGRAPHIC] 22 Surprising Facts About Sleep from the Cleveland Clinic. Here’s a great book resource: Sleep: It Does A Family Good.

Very powerful: An open letter to my friends struggling with eating disorders.

“In times of extraordinary crisis ordinary measures will not suffice. The world lives in such a time of crisis. Christians alone are in a position to rescue the perishing. We dare not settle down to try to live as if things were ‘normal.’ Nothing is normal while sin and lust and death roam the world, pouncing upon one and another till the whole population has been destroyed.” —A.W. Tozer

“I want you to know how to study theology in the right way. I have practiced this method myself. … The method of which I am speaking is the one which the holy king David teaches in Psalm 119. … Here you will find three rules. They are frequently proposed throughout the psalm and run thus: Oratio, meditatio, tentatio [prayer, meditation, trial]. …

“You should completely despair of your own sense and reason, for by these you will not attain the goal. … Rather kneel down in your private little room and with sincere humility and earnestness pray God through His dear son, graciously to grant you His Holy Spirit to enlighten and guide you and give you understanding. [Psalm 119:18, 27, 33, 34-37]. …

“Second, you should meditate. This means that not only in your heart but also externally you should constantly handle and compare, read and reread the Word as preached and the very words as written in Scripture, diligently noting and meditating on what the Holy Spirit means. … Therefore, you observe how in this psalm David always says that he will speak, think, talk, hear, read, day and night and constantly—but about nothing else than God’s Word and Commandments. For God wants to give you His Spirit only through the external Word. [119:11, 15, 48, 24, 47, 93, 97] …

“Third, there is the tentatio, the trial. This is the touchstone. It teaches you not only to know and understand, but also to experience how right, how true, how sweet, how lovely, how mighty, how comforting God’s Word is: it is wisdom supreme. This is why you observe that, in the psalm indicated, David so often complains of all sorts of enemies. … For as soon as God’s Word becomes known through you, the devil will afflict you, will make a real [theologian] of you.” [119: 67-68, 71] —Martin Luther, on the 119th Psalm

Links & Quotes

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Some good reading & watching from today…

“What matters is not the accomplishments you achieve; what matters is the person you become.” —Dallas Willard

“God-given dreams have to do with unselfishness and the serving and blessing of others. Dreams that are initiated out of our own imaginations tend to be primarily focused on ourselves and what we can ‘get.’” —Jeff Hlavin

“Pray against pride, dear friends, wherever you may be. Pride will grow on a dunghill, as well as in the king’s garden. Pray against pride and vainglory, and God give you grace to keep it under!” —C.H. Spurgeon

[VIDEO] John Maxwell reminds us that you don’t have to be a cosmetologist to make someone else beautiful.

Mark Atteberry addresses an article about why millennials are leaving churches, and he does a great job refuting the main points.

Great encouragement from David Wilkerson for anyone praying for a wayward child or spouse.

Planned Parenthood’s stance: if it’s consensual, then violent sex is okay. Again I ask, “Why are my tax dollars funding this garbage?!” Check out this transcript from Live Action’s latest undercover investigation

PLANNED PARENTHOOD: OK. Um, role-play absolutely is normal. Um, it’s—I would say anything within the sexual world is normal as long as it’s consensual 

15-YEAR-OLD: OK. 

PLANNED PARENTHOOD: —between the two people. So if you feel like—like, if he threw out role-play and you were like, “That sounds really weird,” or “I feel really uncomfortable with that,” and he still, like, pressured you, then that is not normal. 

15-YEAR-OLD: OK.

PLANNED PARENTHOOD: But if you were like, “Yeah, I’m open to it, whatever,” and you try it and it felt weird, so you said that, and he was like, “Yeah, that—whatever, that’s fine, let’s not do that again,” that’s also normal.

[VIDEO] Perfect Dad, Perfect Daughter

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This is an amazing pro-life, pro-family, pro-Dad story! I love the authenticity of a Dad who wanted a “perfect life” on his terms, but then realized that he was using the wrong metric to know what “perfect” was.

A Dad who shows humility, is a true man. All of us Dads can learn from Heath White’s amazing discovery about true fatherhood … true manhood.

Links & Quotes

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Some interesting reading from this weekend…

A very informative piece on the history of Israel.

Some ministers today preach only a positive message. To hear them tell it, every Christian is getting instant answers to prayer and receiving miracles; everybody is feeling good, living well; and the whole world is bright and rosy. I like to hear that kind of preaching because I really desire all those good and healthy things for God’s people. But that is not the way things are for a great number of very honest, sincere Christians.” Read more in David Wilkerson’s post At The Breaking Point.

[PHOTO] 100 random acts of kindness almost anyone could do.

Judgment is God’s job. To assume otherwise is to assume God can’t do it. God has not asked us to settle the score or get even. Ever!” Read more in Max Lucado’s post Judgment Is God’s Job.

Pretty cool: researchers are discovering ways to restore brain function after an injury.

You may have seen the headlines that claimed children with same-sex parents fared better than children in traditional homes. Hold on a second: the research was flawed.

Regis Nicoll asks a great question: How Should Churches Receive Same-Sex Couples?

These kinds of atrocious reports about Planned Parenthood’s irresponsibility make me angry! Any why are my tax dollars funding this?!?

One of the basic propositions that supposedly makes evolution work is that things remain relatively the same over long periods of time. Yet here is another scientific study telling us that things haven’t remained the same.

“The people with the calculators have seen the problem, but they have not seen God. They have figured things out, but they have not figured God in.” —A.W. Tozer 

9 Quotes From “Sidelined”

SidelinedSidelined was a book I could hardly put down: such a compelling story of love, and family, and overcoming adversity! You can read my full book review by clicking here. Below are some quotes I highlighted in this book, unless otherwise noted all of the quotes are from Coach Pagano.

“We can! We will! We must! By any means necessary—we have no choice—we will win.”

“We were determined to create a culture where guys couldn’t wait to come to work. We wanted people who would be excited about getting up in the morning and being here. … We wanted a workplace where people are honest and forthright with each other. We wanted open communication to be practiced daily. We wanted every person in the building to be treated with the dignity that every human being deserves. Sure, we’re tough guys, and we like to joke and trash talk sometimes as part of our fun. But there has to be a limit to that kind of behavior, and we wanted everyone to respect each other more than anything else. A joke’s only funny if we all share in it together at no person’s expense. And when we make mistakes or do something wrong, we don’t deny it. We want a place that if we are going to eat crow, we are going to eat it while it’s hot!”

“…My condition will not determine my position. I understand the condition, but choose to focus on my position. That is to stay positive and serve….” (part of a letter to his team before the Green Bay Packers game)

“Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.” —William Barclay

“You brought the spiritual plane. That’s why your leadership goes beyond coaching. You set an example as a spiritual leader, and that’s what inspires people.” —Kevin Elko

“Coaching is a profession of love. You can’t coach people unless you love them.” —Eddie Robinson

“People sometimes ask me what we look for in a player—how we know he’ll be a good fit for our program. It’s a hard question to answer because there are so many variables. … We also go beyond all the facts and stats and determine if these are what we like to call ‘horseshoe guys.’ The horseshoe emblem of the Colts shows seven nails or studs. Each one represents a quality we want in a player/leader for our team—smart, tough, dynamic, physical, character, integrity, and respect. … Players who want to be a part of something bigger. Something great.”

“Part of the reason I couldn’t remain disappointed after our lost to the Ravens [in the playoffs] was that I knew we had built our foundation on solid rock. We had established something that wasn’t going to dry up and blow away in a matter of weeks or months. Our team was committed to building a program for sustained success. We called it ‘building the monster.’ We wanted to take our building blocks of athleticism, talent, and skill and bring them to life with our commitment, character, and determination.”

“Cancer can take away a lot—your hair, your appetite, your energy, and, yes, sometimes your very life. But cancer cannot take away the love that passes between you and the special people in your life. It can’t take away the support and encouragement, the creativity and beauty, the connections and relationships to others who are fighting alongside you. No matter how hard it tries, cancer can never contain the human spirit or diminish the power of faith.”

Sidelined (book review)

SidelinedEvery once in awhile I come across a book that is hard to put down. Sidelined by Chuck Pagano, the head coach of the NFL’s Indianapolis Colts, is just such a book.

Before I lose anyone who says, “Football? Not interested,” let me assure you that this is not a football book. This is a great story of near-tragedy and triumph that happens to have a football coach as its main character. This is a book about family, and faith, and teamwork, and pulling together, and overcoming. It’s a love story with a happy ending. It’s a great book!

In a nutshell, Chuck Pagano is hired as the head coach of the Colts, the first time in his career he has gotten a shot at being a head coach. Just a couple of games into his very first season, he is diagnosed with leukemia and sees his coaching responsibilities immediately halted. He enters into a life-and-death struggle with cancer, and ultimately beats it. But the real triumph of the story is the way his diagnosis pulled together a whole city, and even other NFL cities, to raise awareness of this dreaded disease.

Sidelined doesn’t really have an ending, because Coach Pagano’s career is still ongoing, and so is the fight against leukemia. After reading this book, I’m not only cheering for Coach, but I’m also cheering on those in the fight of their lives against cancer as well as those searching for a cure for this disease.

I am a Thomas Nelson book reviewer.

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