The Refinement Of Pain

I was recently invited to join a bunch of guys — mostly staff in the Cedar Springs schools — for some early morning basketball. I love basketball, I’m a morning guy, and getting to know new people in Cedar Springs made this an invitation I couldn’t refuse. So I started hoopin’ this week. It was nice to get back on the hardwood floor!

Yesterday morning, I jumped in my car to come home to shower. It’s a mile from the school to my house, but by the time I got home, my back muscles had seized up and I was barely able to stand up to get out of the car. I’ve had this happen to me once before, and it’s a whole lot of no fun!

So all day yesterday my schedule had to be modified, as it hurt to move, it hurt to stand for too long, and it hurt to sit for too long. I couldn’t get in the car… in fact, I couldn’t even bend over far enough to put my own socks on! All my plans for the day were shot.

But here’s what I learned: my day wasn’t shot. My plans may not have worked out, but it was still a good day. Pain has a tendency to refine what’s really important out of the trivial stuff.

  • A day in pain and immobility reminded me of just how blessed I am to normally have good health.
  • It prompted me to pray for others who are confined to a wheelchair or their beds.
  • It gave me greater empathy for those who live in chronic pain.
  • It made me more thankful that I have access to medicines and caregivers, things that some people find only rarely.
  • It let me see more clearly the love my family and friends have for me.
  • It gave me more time to pray.

Now here’s the tricky part: to live with these things close by even when I’m not in pain.

Here’s what C.S. Lewis wrote in The Problem Of Pain

I am progressing along the path of life in my ordinary contentedly fallen and godless condition, absorbed in a merry meeting with my friends for the morrow or a bit of work that tickles my vanity today, a holiday or a new book, when suddenly a stab of abdominal [or back] pain that threatens serious disease, or a headline in the newspapers that threatens us all with destruction, send this whole pack of cards tumbling down. At first I am overwhelmed, and all my little happinesses look like broken toys. Then, slowly and reluctantly, bit by bit, I try to bring myself into the frame of mind that I should be in at all times. I remind myself that these toys were never intended to possess my heart, that my true good is in another world and my own real treasure is in Christ. And perhaps, by God’s grace, I succeed, and for a day or two become a creature consciously dependent on God and drawing strength from the right sources. But the moment the threat is withdrawn, my whole nature leaps back to the toys: I am even anxious, God forgive me, to banish from my mind the only thing that supported me under the threat because it is now associated with the misery of those few days. Thus the terrible necessity of tribulation is only too clear. God has had me for but forty-eight hours and then only by dint of taking everything else away from me. Let Him but sheathe that sword for a moment and I behave like a puppy when the hated bath is over — I shake myself as dry as I can and race off to reacquire my comfortable dirtiness, if not in the nearest manure heap, at least in the nearest flower bed. And that is why tribulations cannot cease until God either sees us remade or sees that our remaking is now hopeless.

With God’s help I’m going to avoid running back to my “toys” today. I’m trying to keep the most important thing in the forefront of my thoughts today.

Have you learned any lessons from pain? If so, please feel free to share in the comments.

Thursdays With Oswald

Two of my favorite authors are C.S. Lewis and Oswald Chambers. Lewis helps me to see biblical truths in a way I’ve not seen them before. Chambers helps me live out those biblical truths differently than I’ve been living them before.

I’m working my way through the complete works of Oswald Chambers (or maybe I should say, his writings are working their way through me!), so I thought I’d share with you, my dear reader, what’s challenging me.

We’ll see how this goes, but on Thursdays I’ll share with you something I’ve been reading and thinking about from the writings of Oswald Chambers. Sometimes I may just let the teacher speak for himself, and sometimes I may offer a thought or two of my own. As always, you are welcome to weigh in with your thoughts as well. I’m excited to share these lessons with you.

God’s “Oughts”

      Strictly speaking, there is no disobedience possible to an imperative law, the only alternative being destruction. In this sense the moral law is not imperative, because it can be disobeyed and immediate destruction does not follow. And yet the moral law never alters, however much men disobey it; it can be violated, but it never alters. Remember, at the back of all human morality stands God.

      The Ten Commandments were not given with any consideration for human ability or inability to keep them; they are the revelation of God’s demands made of men and women who had declared that if God would make His law known, they would keep it. …

      If the “Oughts” of the Old Testament were difficult to obey, Our Lord’s teaching is unfathomably more difficult. Remember, the commandments were given irrespective of human ability or inability to keep them; then when Jesus Christ came, instead of doing what we all too glibly say He did—put something easier before men, He made it a hundredfold more difficult, because He goes behind the law to the disposition.

      The purity God demands is impossible unless we can be re-made from within, and that is what Jesus Christ undertakes to do through the Atonement. … It is not a question of applying Jesus Christ’s principles to our actual life first of all, but of applying them to our relationship to Himself, then as we keep our souls open in relation to Him our conscience will decide how we are to act out of that relationship.

From Biblical Ethics

Growing relationship with Jesus = Greater sensitivity to my conscience and the Holy Spirit = Correct disposition to obey God’s laws.

What’s So Amazing About Grace (book review)

Philip Yancey calls grace “the last best word,” and I quite agree. What’s So Amazing About Grace is a challenging read because it is so painful. The truth of our almost daily practice of ungrace is confronting and convicting.

Throughout this book I wanted to say, “I’m glad I don’t behave that way.” And then I’d get a quick glance of myself in the mirror and realize how easily I slip into the same ungraceful behavior I despise. I so desperately want to be a grace-filled man.

Here are just a few of the passages that I’m meditating on, and trying to apply to my life –

  • “I yearn for the church to become a nourishing culture of grace.”
  • “Sociologists have a theory of the looking-glass self: you become what the most important person in your life (wife, father, boss, etc.) thinks you are. How would my life change if I truly believed the Bible’s astounding words about God’s love for me, if I looked in the mirror and saw what God sees?”
  • “I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least.” (Dorothy Day)
  • “In a brilliant stroke Jesus replaces the two assumed categories, righteous and guilty, with two different categories: sinners who admit and sinners who deny.”
  • “Grace substitutes a full, childlike and delighted acceptance of our Need, a joy in total dependence. We become ‘jolly beggars.’” (C.S. Lewis)
  • “Having spent time around ‘sinners’ and also around purported ‘saints,’ I have a hunch why Jesus spent so much time with the former group: I think He preferred their company. Because the sinners were honest about themselves and had not pretense, Jesus could deal with them. In contrast, the saints put on airs, judged Him, and sought to catch Him in a moral trap. In the end it was the saints, not the sinners, who arrested Jesus.”

If you are challenged about living grace-filled in an increasingly grace-less society, you will find ample help in reading this book.

Bad Theology

I’m working on the next lesson in our Spiritual Self-Defense series. It’s a tough topic to address: the deity of Jesus, who was fully God and fully Man.

I know it’s very hard for a finite human mind to grasp an infinite concept like this. However in my studies I have found some really bad theology posted on the web. I realize that as soon as I say, “It’s like this…” that I’ve already diminished the majesty of God coming to earth in human form, because Christ’s virgin birth, sinless life, sacrificial death and resurrection is nothing like anything we can comprehend. But still, I need to find a way to capture it and explain it to our students.

C.S. Lewis wrote about the need for good philosophy to address bad philosophy. I’m adapting his quote in this instance to say,

“Good theology must exist, if for no other reason, because bad theology needs to be answered.”

Prayerfully my good theology can answer the bad theology that I’ve been seeing.

Theology is a compound word: Theos (God) + Logos (wisdom, revelation, thought). I’ve been praying that God will give me greater revelation about Him. And I’m grateful that the Holy Spirit has given me some like analogies to use. But I’m still blown away by how unlike anything we’ve ever known was the coming of Jesus to earth. It is truly the grandest of all miracles.

Rats In My Cellar

We started our Love To The Fourth Power series yesterday morning, looking at what it means to Love God with all your heart… and to love your neighbor the same way. As usual, I’m speaking more to myself than I am to our congregation. During my study time, the Holy Spirit usually does a number on me!

So here’s the recap from yesterday:

  • Loving actions are fine, but loving reactions are more important.
  • The way I react says more about my “love-with-all-my-heart” level than the way I act.
  • In order to know if my reaction is compassion, I have to take the time to reflect on my reactions.

I love this picturesque quote from C.S. Lewis –

“When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to mind is that the provocation was so sudden or unexpected. I was caught off my guard, I had not time to collect myself…. Surely what a man does when he is taken off guard is the best evidence of what sort of man he is. Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth. If there are rats in the cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness did not create the rats; it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows what an ill-tempered man I am….”

I’m working on looking for the rats in my cellar… without making any excuses about how they got there. Just find them and eliminate them.

I want my reaction to be compassion all the time.

A Dollar Or A Cent

Last night my nephews (ages 6 and 2) were staying at our house. After dinner (and ice cream!) my youngest nephew decided he would rather go back home to sleep in his own bed. As I was driving him back toward his house, we had a fascinating conversation.

Fascinating for me because of the sincere simplicity of his young mind. He sees the world so innocently, and yet so sincerely as well. It reminded me of… me.

When I was kid, my Grandfather offered me my choice of a dollar bill or a single penny. Without any hesitation I chose the penny. “Why do you want just one penny,” my Grandfather asked, “Don’t you know that a dollar is worth 100 pennies?”

“Yes,” I replied in all my 3-year-old wisdom, “But you can’t put a dollar in a gum ball machine.”

I robbed myself of a greater blessing because of my innocent simplicity. I saw only the immediate gain and not the greater blessing. I might have to go through an extra step to exchange the dollar for 100 pennies, but wouldn’t the effort be worth it?

Here’s what C.S. Lewis said —

“If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Are you too easily pleased? Can you believe God for greater blessings? You might have to give up the immediate gain, but won’t it be worth it to trade mud pies in a slum for a holiday at the sea? Don’t settle for a single penny, when there are immeasurable treasures waiting for you!

Pursuing

“They followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves” (Jeremiah 2:5).

Simple principle: I become what I pursue.

Pursuing things that will not last into eternity is worthless, and the pursuit of them will make my life worthless too. Allow me to elaborate with a few modified quotes…

“For where your [pursuit] is, there your heart will be also” (Jesus).

“All [pursuits] that are not eternal are eternally useless” (C.S. Lewis).

“But more than anything else, put God’s [pursuits] first and do what He wants” (Jesus).

“The impulse to [pursue] God originates with God, but the outworking of that impulse is our following hard after Him; and all the time we are [pursuing] Him we are already in His hand” (A.W. Tozer).

“But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each of us has [pursued]. The fire will show if a person’s [pursuit] had any value” (Paul).

“The true worth of a man is to be measured by the objects he [pursues]” (Marcus Aurelius Antoninus).

“I love those who love Me, and those who [pursue] Me always catch Me” (God).

“‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will [pursue] his principles unto death” (Thomas Paine).

As this week wraps up, I’m asking myself, “Did I pursue the right things this week? Were my pursuits eternal and God-honoring?” Good questions. Perhaps you could take some time to assess your pursuits too.

Remember, you will become what you pursue, so choose wisely.

Random

Betsy has no summer school today so we’re just chillin’ around the house. This is also one of the rare weekends that I’m not speaking anywhere. To celebrate the start of a long, lazy weekend, I thought I’d post some random thoughts about me.

Here goes…

  • My blog just surpassed 10,000 hits this morning… wow!
  • I’ve been using Twitter for the past three months, and I love it.
  • I don’t drink coffee.
  • I love tea… black, green, white, red, hot or cold.
  • Due to popular response (whatever that means) I’ve setup a “Top Ten List” page with my top posts.
  • My favorite author is C.S. Lewis.
  • My favorite book is the Bible.
  • A life-goal of mine is to read an autobiography or biography of every U.S. President.
  • I prefer Pepsi to Coke… especially Diet Pepsi… with fresh-squeezed lime.
  • But my all-time favorite drink is Enviga.
  • Facebook is fun!
  • My favorite Detroit team is the Tigers. My favorite players are Brandon Inge and Curtis Granderson… I love these guys that go all out all the time.
  • Betsy and I dated for 5 years, 8 months, and 2 days before we got married.
  • I still love going out on a date with Betsy!
  • My ideal vacation is sitting by a lake with a huge stack of books and a big glass of iced tea.
  • My ideal evening is playing kickball in the backyard with my kids (and all the neighborhood kids) and then snuggling with Betsy on the couch (after I shower!).
  • I don’t like to exercise just to exercise. However I love elevating my heartbeat by chasing a ball around the court/field.
  • I am more in love with Jesus today than I ever have been in my life!

There you go… a whole bunch of stuff you probably never knew or even cared to know! Have a great weekend!

Beat Up

Some snippets from a few conversations I have had the past week —

  • “What’s the point?”
  • “My life doesn’t make sense.”
  • “I probably deserve this.”
  • “I don’t know how I got here… I don’t know how to get out.”
  • “Why me?”
  • “I feel beat up.”

C.S. Lewis got it exactly right when he wrote, “If satan’s arsenal of weapons were restricted to a single one, it would be discouragement.”

Have you ever worked with someone whose attitude changed after giving his 2-week notice? His job performance slips… his attitude stinks… he does things against company policy… and he justifies it all by saying, “What are they going to do, fire me?” He’s got nothing to lose by acting like a complete jerk!

satan has already been “fired” — he knows he’s got a terrible end coming. And all he wants to do is make other people feel rotten… beat up… discouraged… defeated. He wants to take you down. He’s a jerk!

Did you know that the word devil means slanderer? By his very nature he only tells lies. Everything he says is intended to harm you. He slings mud at your character, tries to get you thinking you’re no good, turns your attention to anything that’s dark, picks on your faults, jumps on your weaknesses. Like a jerk he beats you up and beats you down until you start believing his lies.

He is a LIAR!

You are invaluable.

You are a masterpiece.

You are desperately loved by God.

You are integral to God’s plan.

I know you may want to ignore satan’s slandering, to tune out his lies, but can I suggest something else? Listen to them. Listen very carefully. If you are listening that closely, you will be able to identify the lies and then demolish them. satan is hoping you will simply accept what he’s saying without analyzing it.

Here’s the next step. After you’ve identified the lies, you have to speak the truth OUT LOUD that contradicts those lies. The Bible says that we defeat satan’s slander by the power of Jesus AND the true words from our mouth. If you’re not sure what biblical truth counteracts the lies that are discouraging you, email me or send me a friend request on Facebook and I’d be happy to help you.

You are so very valuable! There’s a bully who wants to intimidate you, but your Big Brother Jesus is ready to take care of him!

I Like People With Less

You would probably think that if I needed counsel or advice I would seek out someone who is well educated in the area I need help. I should probably find an expert in the matter that’s troubling me. It seems somewhat counterintuitive, but I am finding that those who know less can actually help me more.

Listen to C.S. Lewis, “The fellow-pupil can help more than the master because he knows less. The difficulty we want him to explain is one he has recently met.” He can help me more because he knows less.

I know this tends to be true when one of my children ask me to help them with something in their homework, or a friend asks my help on a computer problem she is experiencing. Because I have already worked out the steps, I no longer have to proceed sequentially; that is, I don’t have to go from Step A to Step B to Step C, and so on until I get to the answer. Because of my past experience I can jump right to Step K.

Great for me. Totally unhelpful to those asking for my advice. In essence I’m doing all of their thinking for them. I haven’t taught them anything… except that I’ll do their work for them.

Lately I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with a friend who is thinking about what it means to have a relationship with Jesus. He has very, very little church background, so I have been forced to go back to Step A with him, because Steps K, L, M and the like would make no sense to him.

This is why I love being around the unchurched, the dechurched, and the never-churched. This is why I love talking to and listening to teenagers and 20-somethings who are new to their relationship with Jesus. These fellow pupils are so recently going through situations that it really makes me pause to go back to my beginnings.

Try it yourself. There is some great wisdom in those who have “been there done that.” But I’m also getting some great insights from those who are “here now doing this.”

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